Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Yes I think there is a lot of changed in recent years because in my country people go to mall or large shopping centers In my country there are many local shops in city areas and village areas. Local shops give poor things to people and people travel to large shopping mall. In my country Pakistan local shops are close because there is a lot of many reasons first one they sale expire things and second they rude behaviour with customers. But in large shopping the sales good things and they good behaviour with customers. In Pakistan local shops have not much more things that they sale. But large shopping malls have sales much more things and gave basic facilities to people. Large shopping malls sales brand things like clothes, shoes, perfumes and many others things. Local shops not sales brand things. In large shopping malls there is many basic facilities like food eating, outing and there was a beautiful park and children playing in this p

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response addresses the prompt by giving a clear opinion that the closure of local shops is a positive development because shopping malls offer better facilities and customer service. However, the response falls significantly short of the minimum 250-word requirement, containing only 167 words. Due to this severe under-length, ideas are limited and lack the full extension and support expected for a complete task response. While the writer touches on valid points regarding product quality and amenities, these ideas remain underdeveloped.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The text lacks proper paragraphing, as it is written as one single block of text, which severely impacts the structural flow. Cohesive devices are minimal and repetitive (e.g., relying heavily on 'and', 'because', and 'in my country'). Although there is a basic logical progression from introducing the topic to listing reasons why malls are preferred over local shops, the lack of clear transitions and paragraph breaks results in a choppy and disjointed reading experience.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with frequent reliance on simple words like 'things', 'good', and 'shops'. There are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'sale expire things' instead of 'sell expired items' and 'rude behaviour with customers' instead of 'rude behaviour towards customers'. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the writer's general meaning, the limited range and frequent inaccuracies prevent the achievement of a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The writing displays a very limited range of sentence structures, consisting mostly of simple sentences linked by coordinating conjunctions. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including tense inconsistencies and missing verbs, such as 'there is a lot of changed' instead of 'there have been many changes', and 'local shops not sales brand things'. Punctuation is also problematic, with run-on structures and missing periods. These errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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