Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-12
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.
Is this a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
From past few years many businessmen built their own shopping centers and best rating malls. In which they got succeeded , in today's period every person wants to do shopping in large shopping centers or malls which made small local shops closed. In this essay not only positive points would be illustrated but also negative would discussed before drawing a logical conclusion.
In present period many large shops and malls are the first choice of shopping for every person either they are rich or they are poor. These shops and malls made shopping very easy because they have a huge place and numbers of workers who attend the customer very respectfully. This is very time saving option for any person than visiting small local shops. But , watching this positive development negative points would not be neglected. As increasing development in malls and other large shopping centers this made a negative impact on the person who owns a small shop.
People start visiting malls for shopping ignoring small local shops that made them small shop owners to close their only way of earn money which is very shameful for us. Large shopping centers or malls give huge offers and discounts on shopping which steal customers of small local shops. To male it more clear I would like to give example on my own experience when I was 20 years old my family own a small local shop after some time we have to close our shop because our customers start visiting large shops and malls.
In conclusion , although in my prespective this is a negative development yet every person have to do shopping from small local shops also .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the closure of small shops due to the rise of large malls, eventually taking a position in the conclusion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the positive points are briefly mentioned as being 'time saving' and offering 'huge place and numbers of workers', while the negative points focus heavily on the emotional aspect of owners closing shops rather than broader economic or community impacts. While the writer attempts to present a balanced view as outlined in the introduction, the arguments lack depth and extension. Overall, the task is addressed, but the support remains somewhat superficial, placing this at a Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into four paragraphs, following a standard introduction, body, and conclusion structure. However, logical progression is hindered by awkward transitions and mechanical cohesive devices, such as 'From past few years', 'In present period', and 'To male it more clear'. Referencing is at times unclear, for example in sentences like 'watching this positive development negative points would not be neglected.' Paragraphing is used, but the flow between and within paragraphs feels disjointed, lacking smooth and natural progression. These features align closely with the descriptors for Band 5.0, where organisation is present, but overall progression and cohesive devices are inadequate or inaccurate.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, with frequent reliance on simple words like 'shop', 'mall', 'shopping', and 'person'. There are noticeable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'best rating malls', 'way of earn money', and 'in my prespective'. Spelling and typographical errors also occur, such as 'male' instead of 'make'. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the basic message, the range is limited and occasional errors cause some strain for the reader, which fits the Band 5.0 descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, with frequent errors in punctuation, tense consistency, and sentence construction. Examples include 'From past few years many businessmen built...' (incorrect preposition and tense) and 'every person have to do shopping' (subject-verb agreement error). Complex sentences are attempted, but they are often faulty or awkward, such as 'People start visiting malls for shopping ignoring small local shops that made them small shop owners to close their only way of earn money'. Frequent errors persist throughout the text and occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, placing this at a Band 5.0 level.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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