Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

development good+

shope at one place+

local people lost -

expensive things-

Nowadays, people prefers to shop through big shopping malls instead of local stores due to which most of the locally owned business are shutting down. This is negative development because local shop are loosing thier values and similar products sold in mall are expensive. This essay will support this notion as a negetive development.

First significant reason is local shops are lossing it's value due to attraction toward big shopping centres are changing people's mind. They feel like item bought from good looking shops are of good quality irrespective of huge amount they are spending on it. For instance, local cafe selling a cup of coffee in simple cup but made by traditional method which is beneficial of health. While coffee sold in most of the shopping malls are prepare using machine and serve in attractive forms but the cost of very high compare to local cafe.

Another key reason is similar products are sold at high cost. Substantial good looking store have high rent and maintainance cost which at the end hike the price of product they are selling. For instance, Person selling a same brand clothes at local area has low rent of his store. So he will be able to sell it in comparably low price than mall. Althogh developing of huge shopping centers are enhancing the oevrall evloution of country, local people are draing their business.

In conclusion, local shops should be valued and prefers to buy the products most of the time because it will save the local reputation and people carrier. No matter malls should also be prefer when buying a products which are out of local store limitations.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The student addresses the prompt by clearly taking a position that the closure of local shops is a negative development. The response outlines relevant reasons, such as the loss of local value, health benefits of traditional methods, and price differences due to high rent in malls. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. While all parts of the prompt are covered, the arguments lack deeper elaboration and contain some sweeping generalisations. The response meets the task requirements by presenting a clear stance and supporting examples, such as the comparison between local and mall coffee. This performance aligns well with Band 5.5 descriptors, as it addresses the task clearly but remains somewhat underdeveloped and basic in its reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showing an attempt at logical organisation. However, the progression of ideas is often disjointed and mechanical. Cohesive devices are used, but sometimes inaccurately or repetitively (e.g., 'First significant reason is...', 'Another key reason is...'). Paragraphing is present, but internal cohesion suffers from abrupt transitions and faulty referencing, such as 'Person selling a same brand clothes...' where article usage and cohesive links are weak. The conclusion is somewhat muddled and fails to summarise the main points effectively. These features are characteristic of Band 5.0, where organisation is present but overall progression and cohesive control are inadequate.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The student uses a limited but minimally adequate range of vocabulary suitable for discussing shopping habits and local businesses (e.g., 'locally owned business', 'traditional method', 'maintainance cost'). There are frequent spelling and word-choice errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, such as 'shope', 'prefers' instead of 'prefer', 'loosing' instead of 'losing', 'negetive', 'beneficial of health', and 'draing their business'. While the student attempts less common vocabulary like 'substantial' and 'evolution', inaccuracies in collocation and form restrict the precision of the expression. This fits the Band 5.0 criteria, where vocabulary is sufficient for basic communication but contains noticeable errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including conditional and relative clauses (e.g., 'which at the end hike the price', 'so he will be able to sell it'). However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement ('people prefers', 'local shop are loosing'), missing articles ('This is negative development', 'Person selling a same brand'), and awkward phrasing ('Which is beneficial of health'). These errors often cause strain for the reader, although meaning can usually be deciphered. The range of structures is limited, and attempts at complex forms are frequently faulty, which places this performance firmly at Band 5.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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