Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is an undeniable fact that small or larger scale businesses are the backbone of the nation and they not only play a big role in the economy but also provide job opportunities to young ones. However, in today's era people mostly prefer to purchase goods from shopping centres or malls instead of local shops. I deem that this is a positive development and there are a myraid of resons behind this phenomenon that I will explain in the upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with the positive points, firstly, it makes people's lives more convenient. For example, individuals do not have to visit a several shops for buying a attires, accessories and electronic gadgets. They can purchase it under the same roof that not only utilize their productive time but also facilitate them to save their transport cost that need to visit different shops. Secondly, in malls people can get a plethora of brands such as H &M, Holister, Gucci that assist them to compare the quality and price of the products. In addition, during the festival seasons, in various mall keep their goods on sale like buy one and get one free or 50 % discount options are available that attracts lots of spectators.

Moving towards the negative development, in shopping mall people cannot do bargaging and pay their bills in small increments because the price of the product is fixed. Another thing is that, in large store fruits and vegetables are usually frozen and remained their for longer period of time that become a cause of health diseases.

In conclusion, although it has certain disadvantages, its advantages are more significant overall. Therefore, I believe that the positive aspects outweigh the negative ones.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing the trend of small shops closing and clearly taking the position that this is a positive development. The writer introduces relevant ideas and attempts to support them with examples, such as the variety of brands available in malls and the convenience of one-stop shopping. However, some arguments are slightly under-developed or contain minor contradictions, such as briefly introducing a negative paragraph about malls (lack of bargaining and frozen vegetables) before ultimately concluding that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. A more sustained focus on the positive aspects throughout would have yielded a higher level of task response. Overall, the ideas presented are relevant and the position remains clear throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding statement. The writer uses standard cohesive devices to signal progression, such as 'To commence with the positive points', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion'. However, there are noticeable mechanical errors in paragraphing and transitional flow. For instance, the transition to the negative development feels slightly abrupt given the writer's stated position that the trend is positive, and referencing is occasionally faulty, such as 'that need to visit' or 'in various mall keep'. Paragraphing is used to separate ideas, but internal cohesion within sentences can be clunky at times, keeping this criterion at a solid Band 6.0 level.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common lexical items such as 'backbone', 'phenomenon', and 'plethora'. However, there are several noticeable spelling errors ('myraid' instead of myriad, 'resons', 'attires', 'Holister', 'bargaging') and odd word choices or collocations ('a several shops', 'remain their for longer period'). Despite these inaccuracies, the vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main ideas clearly, preventing the lexical score from dropping lower. To reach a higher band, the writer would need to demonstrate greater precision and fewer mechanical spelling errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some ambitious structures like relative clauses ('businesses are the backbone of the nation and they not only play...'). However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as 'a several shops', 'a attires', 'in various mall keep', and 'large store' (singular instead of plural). Punctuation and prepositions also show occasional lapses. While these errors do not severely impede overall communication, they occur frequently enough across the text to prevent the essay from achieving a Band 7.0.

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