Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Eliminating small businesses has become increasingly common in recent years. The reason behind this is because people prefer going to supermarkets for shopping instead of visiting local vendors. This essay will examine the positive aspects of this development.

One significant reason is that huge shopping malls offer variety of food options under one roof and provide convenience. The working individual favors to purchase all at one time rather than rushing to multiple stores. For example, no frills sell numerous items such as local and international products which includes produce, milk, grains, Chinese, Italian, Indian food grains and so on are available in a major store for customers convenience. Consequently, people love to visit to save their time on grocery shopping instead of spending the whole day.

Another important point is that money-saving strategy could be one factor in visiting the massive centers while small traders would not be able to offer heavy discounts. For instance, no frills usually have point-based discounts for their customers who purchase any food items from their business and in return they can redeem those earned points in cash in exchange for their next visit once they reach certain limits. This could be a reason which enables buyers to visit often for their benefits. On the other hand, micro businesses fail to approach this strategy due to limitation of bundle buying from the manufacturer.

In conclusion, Convenience is a key factor for busy schedule pupils and to learn strategies to earn and save money while shopping.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the positive aspects of the closure of small local shops in favor of large shopping centers, specifically highlighting convenience and discount strategies. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. Ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as referencing the store 'no frills' and its point-based discount system. However, there is a tendency to over-generalise slightly, and some points could be more deeply explored. For instance, the conclusion abruptly introduces the term 'busy schedule pupils' which feels somewhat disconnected from the broader context of adult consumers and workers established in the body paragraphs. Overall, the task is addressed adequately, fulfilling the requirements for Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Logical organisation is generally present, guiding the reader through the advantages of shopping malls. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. For example, transitional phrases like 'Another important point is that' are slightly rigid, and referencing is not always clear, such as the abrupt shift to 'pupils' in the concluding sentence. Paragraphing is used, but the internal logical flow within paragraphs occasionally stumbles due to run-on sentences and awkward phrasing, such as 'The reason behind this is because people prefer...'. Cohesive devices are present but can feel repetitive or slightly misapplied, placing this response firmly at Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The writer uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common lexical items such as 'micro businesses', 'point-based discounts', and 'bundle buying'. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For instance, phrases like 'The working individual favors to purchase all at one time' and 'busy schedule pupils' demonstrate unnatural word combinations. Additionally, minor vocabulary errors appear, such as referring to large supermarkets as 'no frills' in a generic sense. While these issues do not impede overall communication, the frequent awkwardness in lexical selection prevents the essay from reaching a higher band, making Band 6.0 an appropriate score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt at varied structures such as relative clauses ('customers who purchase any food items') and conditional-like phrasing. However, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. Examples include 'The reason behind this is because people prefer' (redundancy), 'people love to visit to save their time' (unnecessary prepositional particle), and 'busy schedule pupils' (missing plural or possessive form). Although these errors do not obscure the core message and the reader can easily follow the arguments, the density of minor grammatical inaccuracies keeps the performance at a Band 5.5 level.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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