Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Undoubtedly, with globalization people prefer to buy goods from the big mall rather than local businesses. If this trend continues for a long run it would effect harmfully at a large scale. This essay will expalin how this shift can caus enegative development.

To begin with, if all small local shops are closed then the heritage and the culture of any country will also be escaped. The reason is that local shops sell the traditonal handmade stuff like embroidered suits, stoles, and shoes. If people stop buying from such manufacturers, then in the future these outlets will be closed. For example, in Rajasthan, India in order to revive the culture of the State. The local government every year organised small fairs where local handicraft and craftsmen exhibit their products.

Moving further, if small-scale business will shut down it would not affect the individuals themselves but the whole country as well; the Growth Domestic Product rate of the nation will also fall. If people are unemployed they will find ways to earn money whether it is ethical or unethical, the crime rate will increase if unemployed individiuals would start stealing money. Most of these business are family run, so hardly job less people wants to work under someone.

In conclusion, if all the local shops are closed, then it would adversely affect the whole nation. The rich heritage, and handicrafts are preserved by these small shopkeepers and if no one visiting them their business will close and GDP rate would fall also.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by clearly taking a position that the closure of small shops is a negative development. The writer presents relevant ideas regarding cultural heritage and economic impacts such as GDP and unemployment. However, some of the ideas are underdeveloped or lack full extension. For instance, the example about Rajasthan is abruptly introduced without fully explaining how government-organised fairs counteract the broader decline of local retail. While the position is clear throughout, the support remains somewhat general and could benefit from deeper elaboration. Therefore, the response aligns well with the Band 6 descriptors, as all parts of the task are addressed, but certain arguments require more detailed exploration to reach a higher tier.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a clear overall progression and is divided into logical paragraphs with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used to signal relationships between ideas, such as 'To begin with', 'Moving further', and 'In conclusion'. However, some cohesive referencing and mechanical links feel slightly repetitive or awkward, such as starting multiple sentences with 'If'. Paragraphing is generally appropriate, although the second body paragraph packs several distinct thoughts together, including employment rates, crime, and family-run dynamics, which slightly disrupts the smooth flow of ideas. Overall, the organization is coherent enough to meet the requirements of Band 6.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, incorporating terms such as 'globalization', 'heritage', 'handicraft', and 'unemployed'. There are several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'effect harmfully' instead of 'affect harmfully', 'expalin' instead of 'explain', 'caus enegative' instead of 'cause a negative', and 'Growth Domestic Product' instead of 'Gross Domestic Product'. Despite these errors, the lexical choices are sufficient to communicate the writer's meaning clearly, fitting the Band 5 to Band 6 profile. Because communication is not impeded by the inaccuracies, a band score of 6.0 is justified for attempting less common vocabulary despite the slips.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, frequently using conditional structures like 'If this trend continues...' and 'If people stop buying...'. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in verb forms, prepositions, and sentence construction, such as 'it would effect harmfully at a large scale', 'craftsmen exhibit' (tense consistency), and 'hardly job less people wants'. Punctuation errors also appear, such as sentence fragments and comma splices, for example, 'State. The local government...' and 'nation as a whole; the Growth Domestic Product...'. These frequent errors place the response firmly in the Band 5 category, as complex sentences are often faulty and cause some difficulty for the reader.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.