Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

From last few years, large shopping mall has become very popular amoung people to buy their daily use items, and a dramatic decling in small local shops is noticed. This essay will discuss pros and cons of this development before giving my opinion.

To begin postive side, the first and foremost benefit is time saving. To explain, the life is very busy in today's world. Both men and women are working they do have time to visit small shops to buy thing they need. So, they always prefer to visit big shopping centres to purchase their items as these offers them to buy varity of products from one place. Not only this but also helps costumers save money by providing discounts on special occasions that is not available at local stores. For instance, Way Mall in Ludhuana, Punjab, provides a lot of offers on Diwali and other special days. Therefore, this is a postive development.

On the other hand, this trend effecting local shopkeepers negatively, especially who are dependent on small shops for their family income, they are becoming poor day by day, consequenlty poverty rate increases which effects the whole country. Furthermore, unemployment rate is also rising because people who are working in small shops becoming jobless. In this way it is a negative trend.

in conclusion, although it contributes to rise poverty and unemplyment rates, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages as it saves time and money. In my opinion, visiting large shopping malls is benefical as it offers a verity of offers.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the positive and negative sides of the development regarding small local shops and large shopping centres, and the writer provides a clear personal opinion in the introduction and conclusion. The ideas are generally relevant, mentioning time-saving benefits, discounts, and negative impacts like poverty and unemployment. However, the development of ideas tends to be a bit repetitive and brief, such as listing points without fully expanding on them with detailed elaboration. For instance, the discussion on poverty and unemployment is stated rather than deeply analysed. Overall, the response fulfills the requirements for a Band 6.0 as it addresses all parts of the task with relevant ideas, though some aspects are under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs for pros and cons, and a conclusion, showing a coherent overall arrangement. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different arguments. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical, with issues in logical transition and sentence connectivity. Phrases like 'To begin postive side' and 'in conclusion' show attempts to organise the text, but referencing is occasionally unclear, such as 'especially who are dependent on small shops' which leads to a run-on structure. Transitional devices are sometimes awkward or missing, leading to choppy flow in places. This performance fits the Band 6 descriptor well, as it maintains overall coherence despite mechanical and slightly faulty cohesive devices.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'dramatic decling', 'unemployment rate', and 'disadvantages'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word-choice errors throughout the text, including 'amoung', 'decling', 'postive', 'costumers', 'varity', 'effecting', 'consequenlty', and 'benefical'. Collocations are sometimes inaccurate, such as 'contributes to rise poverty'. While these errors do not severely impede communication, they restrict the lexical score to Band 5.0 because the frequency of spelling and morphological mistakes prevents the achievement of a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'This essay will discuss pros and cons of this development before giving my opinion' and 'Both men and women are working they do have time to visit small shops'. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, including run-on sentences ('Both men and women are working they do have time'), missing auxiliary verbs, and preposition errors ('From last few years'). Punctuation is also weak, particularly with lower-case letters at the start of paragraphs and sentences. Although meaning is generally conveyed, the high frequency of structural and punctuation errors places this performance firmly at Band 5.0.

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