Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

For the past few years, the majority of local shops have collapsed because clients prefer travelling to big shopping malls or large retail centres. I believe this development is a double-edged sword for society. While the establishment of malls and big shops is a symbol of progress. On the other hand, it is causing a threat to local shop retailors. Let us delve deep into the aforementioned view in the subsequent paragraphs with some relevant examples.

First and foremost, travelling to shopping malls or centres provides customers not only with an escape from everyday busy schedules, but also offers them a wide range of products according to their budget. To clarify, since shopping malls are often built at the centre of the town or busy urban suburbs, people have to travel for a considerable amount of time to reach their destination. Thus, family members get the opportunity to spend quality time with each other, which seems insufficient during their busy working hours. Moreover, big malls and shopping centres offer a wider range of products and qualities at one place, which makes it convenient for people to do shopping. For example, if all family members want to purchase different items, they do not have to travel to other stores, and it saves their valuable amount of time.

On the other hand, small local shops offer employment opportunities to local residents and the middle-class society. If people started to invest too much of their money in buying expensive and branded items in malls and shopping centres, local craftsmen and artists will face negative consequences. Moreover, not everyone can afford the branded items of big shopping malls, villagers and lower-class people purchase the majority of items from local shops. If these shops are closed, they would not be able to afford basic necessities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The student addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the decline of local shops, establishing a balanced position that views the trend as a double-edged sword. Ideas are generally well supported, such as explaining how shopping malls facilitate family bonding and convenience, while local shops support middle-class society and employment. However, the development could be pushed slightly further in terms of depth. For instance, the discussion on craftsmen and artists is introduced but not fully exemplified. Overall, the response meets the criteria for Band 6.5 to 7.0, showing a clear stance and relevant, extended ideas throughout the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a clear logical organisation with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing contrasting viewpoints, and transitional phrases such as 'First and foremost' and 'On the other hand'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. Cohesive devices are generally well managed, although there are minor issues with referencing and sentence fragments, such as the dependent clause 'While the establishment of malls and big shops is a symbol of progress' being punctuated as a complete sentence followed by 'On the other hand...'. Despite this minor mechanical flaw, the overall progression is clear, fitting the requirements for a Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items and phrasal structures like 'double-edged sword', 'escape from everyday busy schedules', and 'basic necessities'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'local shop retailors' (retailers) and 'do shopping' instead of 'go shopping' or 'shop'. Spelling is generally accurate, and vocabulary errors do not impede communication. This demonstrates a solid Band 6.0 performance, showing adequate flexibility and precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response employs a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including relative clauses and conditional structures ('If people started to invest...'). However, there are noticeable grammatical errors and awkward punctuation. For example, the sentence starting with 'While the establishment...' is a fragment, and there is a tense shift issue in 'If people started... local craftsmen and artists will face'. Punctuation errors and occasional awkward phrasing prevent the score from reaching higher, but the meaning is rarely obscured, aligning well with the Band 6.0 descriptors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.