Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In contemporary society, many people visiting malls instead of local shops, as malls have everything available under one roof and many other activities to do. Overall, it is negative trend as it will impact local economy and socity cohesion, which will discuss in the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin with, people love to go for a shopping in malls, as they are more convinient, provide so many things at one place, such as groceries, clothing and household items. Moreover, they also provide entertainment activities, as, cinema and game stations to play games for kids. People often like amenities nowadays, which are not available at local shops. For instance, at malls you can do shopping in AC and eat at restaurants while feeling hungry. Apart from this, there are lot of parking space available in the malls, so people do not have to worry about their vehicle's security.

However, due to shopping in big malls, the closure of small shops will create unemployement for local residents and vendors. Furthermore, the profit from the local shops will contribute in the local economy, whereas, the malls profit goes to big corporations and shareholders. Beyond this, this trend erodes the cultural identity of neighbourhood, where small businesses act as an social achors where people know each other by their names fostering a strong sense of community belonging. Replacing them with uniformity, generic malls strip towns of their distinctive character. As a result, society becomes more disconnected.

In conclusion, closure of small shops is a negative trend as it will create unemployment and local cultural norms will erode of the business society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing the closure of small shops and presenting a clear position that this is a negative development. The student supports this stance with relevant arguments regarding the local economy, unemployment, and community cohesion. For example, the mention of how small businesses act as social anchors where people know each other by name adds good, specific depth to the argument. However, some ideas are slightly under-developed or briefly stated, particularly in the introduction, which contains a noticeable fragment ('which will discuss in the upcoming paragraphs'). Overall, the task is well addressed, earning a Band 6.5.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay is generally coherent with an overall logical arrangement, following a standard introduction, body paragraph structure, and conclusion. The writer uses cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'Moreover,' 'However,' and 'In conclusion' to signal the progression of ideas. However, paragraphing and referencing are occasionally flawed; for instance, the introductory sentence 'many people visiting malls instead of local shops' lacks a main verb, disrupting the flow. Furthermore, cohesive links are sometimes a bit mechanical. Paragraphing is used appropriately overall, but the logical progression suffers slightly from minor structural slips, placing this criterion at a Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'contemporary society,' 'cultural identity,' and 'distinctive character.' However, there are several spelling and word-choice errors that detract from precision, such as 'convinient' (convenient), 'unemployement' (unemployment), and 'socity cohesion' (social cohesion). There are also minor collocation slips like 'due to shopping in big malls' instead of 'due to the shift towards shopping in big malls.' Despite these errors, the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the intended meaning clearly, justifying a Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating relative clauses and conditional structures. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are noticeable errors, such as sentence fragments and tense issues in the introduction ('many people visiting malls... as malls have... and which will discuss'), preposition errors ('profit from the local shops will contribute in the local economy'), and plural/singular agreement issues ('lot of parking space available'). While these errors do not impede overall communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent the writing from reaching a higher band, making a Band 6.0 appropriate.

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