Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Recently, plathora of small shops have closed due to consumers are inclining towards bigger shopping centres and malls for shoppings. In my point of view, this is a disadvantage for the local vendors as their revenue is getting smaller everyday. I have mentioned more about my view in further paragraphs.

To initiate with, small shops owners are already coming from the middle class zone of the society and their only source of income is what they are getting through their shops. If their regular buyers are shifting towards malls then the income of local vendor is going to be fall significntly. Similarly, the wastage of the stock filled by the local seller will rise drastically since people are not buying from that place. For instance, I have seen several vendor to sell their stock in cheaper price for both attracting purchasers and clearing out the stocks, which costs them increased pursonal expense with lesser revenue.

Meanwhile, shopping malls are already having higher amount of money which they have invested by making malls and shopping centres, so technically the customers are making their business more profitable by choosing them. By such activities we make it hard for small vendors to do business and as a result they have to closed down it. To exemplify, current survey of Anand city shows that upto 15 local grocery stores has winded up their store because all their buyers choose to shop from Dmart grocery mall.

In conclusion, choosing bigger shopping malls make negative impacts on the local businesses and putting them at the edge of closed down it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by taking a clear position that the closure of small shops is a negative development. The student supports this stance with relevant ideas, such as the loss of income for middle-class vendors and the impact of wasted stock. However, some ideas lack full extension and are slightly repetitive. For instance, the point about inventory loss is illustrated with a basic example of selling stock at cheaper prices. While the position is clear throughout, the development remains somewhat general and basic, aligning closely with the Band 6 descriptors where relevant ideas are presented but remain partially under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear stance stated in the introduction and reinforced in the conclusion. Paragraphing is used adequately, with separate paragraphs for introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, cohesion is at times mechanical or faulty. Transitional phrases such as 'To initiate with', 'Meanwhile', and 'By such activities' are awkward or unidiomatic. Additionally, referencing is occasionally unclear, such as 'what they are getting through their shops' and 'By such activities we make it hard', which disrupts the natural flow and logical progression expected at higher bands.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the student to communicate basic ideas about businesses and shopping habits. However, there are numerous lexical and collocation errors throughout the text. Examples include 'plathora of small shops' (spelling and article missing), 'consumers are inclining towards' (unnatural collocation), 'income of local vendor is going to be fall significntly' (grammatical form and spelling error), and 'winded up their store'. Less common vocabulary is attempted but frequently inaccurate, placing this response firmly in the Band 5 category for Lexical Resource.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, though complex structures frequently contain errors. There are frequent grammatical mistakes, such as tense and agreement issues in 'consumers are inclining', missing articles ('plathora', 'current survey'), incorrect prepositional phrases ('coming from the middle class zone'), and structural errors in verb phrases ('is going to be fall significntly', 'have to closed down it'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, their high frequency and interference with sentence clarity prevent the writer from achieving a higher band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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