Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, small business owners have shut down their establishments because end users commutes to bigger supermarkets for their shopping.

It is sad to observe that local malls are gradually discouraged and are loosing customers, because people travel to a bigger supermarkets for daily shopping.

It is always interesting to see big malls with variety of things to buy, some of these shops accommodate everything one would desire to purchase in one go. Also, items are subsidized because of its numerous goods, and its easy to freely discount these goods to regular buyers if large amount of items are bought.

However, small business are not encouraged, which negatively affects community development. It is important for government or Non-governmental organizations, to sponsor and encourage grassroot businesses, small scale entrepreneurships and local native shops should be given preference. If possible, their tax should be subsidized. This will enable local users not to travel far distance just to buy domestics items.

In addition, community growth is also a function of local shops, because their presence improves the life style of residence, people can walk to the shop on the next street for shopping and walk back home. bicycles can be used to access local shops easily. Also, residents would be employed in local shops, which improves and empowers lifestyle in a community. For example, I can buy my weekly provisions and vegetables at a neighboring shop not far from where I live, I don't have travel to the urban city to do my shopping or location the commercial bus, which is expensive. Also, the travel time and energy can be converted to relaxation or exercising, if local shops are located around our living areas.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing whether the closure of small shops due to the rise of large shopping centres is a positive or negative development. The writer takes a clear position, highlighting both the economic advantages of large malls and the negative impact that the decline of local businesses has on community development and lifestyle. Ideas are generally relevant and extended with examples, such as personal anecdotes regarding weekly provisions and the convenience of neighboring shops. However, some arguments lack deeper elaboration, placing the response comfortably in Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs exploring different facets of the issue, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate distinct ideas, such as the benefits of malls versus the community value of local shops. Cohesive devices are employed, including words like 'However', 'In addition', and 'Also'. However, referencing and transitions are at times mechanical or repetitive ('Also' is overused at the beginning of sentences), and paragraph organization within the body could be smoother, reflecting Band 6.0 performance.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student displays an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'subsidized', 'entrepreneurships', and 'empowers lifestyle'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors, incorrect word forms, and awkward collocations throughout the text, such as 'end users commutes', 'local malls are gradually discouraged', 'loosing customers' (instead of losing), and 'location the commercial bus'. These errors do not seriously impede communication, but they restrict the lexical score to Band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating conditional structures and relative clauses. However, there are frequent grammatical errors in tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation. Examples include 'small business owners have shut down... because end users commutes', 'its easy to freely discount', 'small business are not encouraged', and comma splices or run-on sentences like 'For example, I can buy my weekly provisions... not far from where I live, I don't have travel...'. These errors can cause occasional difficulty for the reader, fitting Band 5.5 descriptors.

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