Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today era various small outlets close because of biggers malls.Individual goes for shopping in biigger stores instead of local ones. This trend may effect small shops. In my opinion its a negative development , because it cause small shop owners and loose the sense of community.

Firstly one major disadvantage of purchasing things from malls instead of local outlets stuff should be more costly as compare to local shops.May be sometime there is offers despite that it often costly then local shops.In addition, small shops are not able to compete with bigger malls because those malls contains variety of different outlets and they have more stuff rather then those outlets that are locally own by small buisnessman. Whenever small shop owner saw that they can't afford wprkers salary so unfortunately they shut their buisness.

Furthermore, local own shops are very easy to find and even shopping is very convenient over their people connected with the owners easily and even got good services from them because they are their daily customers.If for some reasons these small oulets are closed people not able buy suitable things on suitable price. Moreover, they need go farther for purchasing stuff for theri daily uses.Closure of local shops may effect the employment of local individual , so they also need to move to other cities in the search of job .

To conclude , large shopping centres provide choices and more options but i not mean that there is no need of small outlets.I believe that closure of small buisnesses is negative development

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by clearly taking a position that the closure of small shops is a negative development. The writer presents relevant ideas, such as the loss of community, employment issues, and the struggle of local businesses to compete with large malls. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, points regarding pricing and convenience are mentioned across multiple sentences without being fully extended or supported with specific, concrete examples from the writer's own experience. While all parts of the task are addressed, the arguments remain somewhat superficial, which corresponds to the requirements of Band 6. The position is clear throughout, but the depth of elaboration prevents it from reaching a higher band level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion. Paragraphing is attempted, though the division and internal structure of the body paragraphs could be managed more effectively. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often basic or somewhat mechanical, such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', and 'Furthermore'. There are also instances where referencing and logical links are slightly faulty, making the progression of ideas a bit disjointed at times—for example, the abrupt transitions between sentences discussing pricing and worker salaries. Overall, the organization is sufficient to make the essay understandable, aligning with the descriptors for Band 5.0 to 5.5, with solid elements of Band 5.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully communicating everyday concepts related to shopping and local businesses, such as 'outlets', 'shopping centres', and 'employment'. However, there are numerous word choice and collocation errors, such as 'stuff should be more costly as compare', 'local own shops', and 'on suitable price' instead of 'at a suitable price'. Furthermore, spelling errors such as 'buisness', 'wprkers', and 'oulets' occur frequently throughout the text. These lexical limitations and frequent inaccuracies cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect a standard typical of Band 5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some variety in structure. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the response, including missing articles ('in today era', 'closure of local shops may effect the employment'), incorrect verb forms ('cause small shop owners and loose'), and run-on sentences with punctuation errors. While some simpler sentences are successfully constructed, complex structures are often faulty and impede smooth reading. The frequency of these errors places the writing firmly at Band 5 for grammatical range and accuracy.

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