Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The phenomenon of shopping has been always controversial since decades, as some individuals like to shop from local area shops while others prefer to go into huge malls and advanced brand areas. In recent years, the substantial influence of shopping in malls has sparked a trend which is attracting a huge number of audience. As people are more keen to shop in single multi-storey areas, this has infact affected large number of local shops. Those shops have either very few customers or they are permanently closed. This is a huge dilemma for that percentage of people who are not capable to have enough sales.

In this essay we will further discuss the negative and positive developments of this current case.

Analyzing the statement and stating first and the foremost stem reason is the high paced development in fashion trends. The amplification of buying products from well- known brands and shops are considered over local shops products. The new generations are much into things which are aesthetically pleasing whilst it has low quality. Furthermore, folks with fancy taste in buying goods that are internationally famous prefer malls and such high end areas to shop. Moreover, they might find local shops less in quality and they have mere products that are produced locally within a city or country premises. . Also, the individuals find it more convenient to shop everything from one single building rather than chasing shops in open markets. It saves their time and energy.

Probing ahead it is pertinent to mention that local shops do not cost much in rentals and even products they have. They have budgeted goods that are handmade or not too famous as one's available in shopping arenas. The percentage of people owning such shops are not financially stable to withstand the high rents and regulations of malls. They cannot import high quality material as it costs huge while transporting from foreign countries. Due to this reason, they loose customers and circumstances result in closure of shops. To cite an example, women now days prefer buying jeans from a re-known brandof mall rather than local shop. Majority of them love the fabric as compare to local fabric in shops outside malls. It helps them buy efficiently with more than one options from different brands for a singular product.

In my perspective, this aforementioned widespread trend is much more convenient and modern mode of shopping from malls. It is a loss for few that local shops are closing but the alternative is much more facilitated and time conservative.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The candidate addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the positive and negative developments associated with the closure of small local shops in favour of shopping malls, eventually taking a clear position in the final paragraph that the trend is a positive development. Ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as comparing the purchase of jeans in malls versus local markets. However, there is a slight tendency to over-generalise regarding consumer preferences and financial stability. Overall, the response meets the criteria for Band 7, as the position is clear throughout and the main aspects of the prompt are fully addressed with logical extensions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response displays a clear overall progression and logical organisation, divided into distinct introductory, body, and concluding paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', and 'To cite an example' are used to connect ideas, though some referencing and transitions feel slightly mechanical (e.g., 'Probing ahead it is pertinent to mention'). Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different facets of the argument, such as consumer convenience versus the struggles of local shop owners. This corresponds to a solid Band 6.5 or 7.0, and the clear paragraphing and logical flow lean towards Band 7.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate to sufficient range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'aesthetically pleasing', 'aforementioned', and 'financial stability'. However, there are noticeable word-choice and collocation inaccuracies, such as 'loose customers' instead of 'lose customers', 're-known brandof', and 'mere products' when 'few products' or 'limited products' was intended. Despite these lexical errors and minor spelling slips, communication is never impeded, placing the vocabulary use comfortably at Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at subordination and relative clauses (e.g., 'Those shops have either very few customers or they are permanently closed'). However, grammatical errors occur with some frequency, including articles ('the phenomenon of shopping has been always controversial since decades'), prepositions ('shop from local area shops'), and sentence fragments ('In my perspective, this aforementioned widespread trend is much more'). While these errors do not impede overall communication, they prevent the essay from reaching higher bands where control is more consistent. This performance aligns with Band 6.0.

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