Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some customers prefer to purchase items from large shopping malls rather than from small local shops; as a result, these shops have permanently closed down. I think it is more of a positive development, but there are some areas where it can negatively affect.

On the one hand, I believe large shopping centres help to make our shopping convenient and affordable. It allows us to look for different brands and compare them with each other in every manner; due to this, we can make a good deal when selecting the item. Additionally, it offers you large discounts with special gift vouchers, that helps customers save some amount on goods. For instance, we have seen that employees working in large malls are highly skilled, as they have a lot of professional experience in guiding people in choosing the best product for them. As a result, they prefer to buy things from malls as they get the best offers on quality products.

Secondly, local shops have closed for this reason, which will greatly affect local products. These products are only sold by small shops which are operating in local areas; they promote those items from their shops to help their families with daily needs. Furthermore, governments support their products by giving them subsidies, as this helps them reduce the taxes they have to pay. For example, people in rural areas cultivate products and make them fully functional, then they show them in their shops for buying purposes. As a result, they do lot of hard work for their family to earn money and help them , due to closing of shop it will negatively affect the local shops.

In conclusion goverment should look into both

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the task, presenting a position that the shift towards shopping malls is largely a positive development while acknowledging negative aspects. However, the ideas are presented with limited development. For example, while the writer mentions that shopping centres help make shopping convenient and affordable, the supporting points remain somewhat general. Similarly, the discussion regarding the impact on local shops in the third paragraph is repetitive and lacks clear, fully explained examples. To move to a higher level, the writer needs to extend and support all main ideas with deeper explanations and more specific, well-developed examples rather than leaving arguments partially explored.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay displays an overall coherent arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the response into introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, though the conclusion is notably incomplete, trailing off abruptly after mentioning that the government should look into both sides. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand' and 'Secondly', but referencing is sometimes unclear, and the progression between ideas occasionally feels mechanical. Furthermore, paragraphing is disrupted by the abrupt ending of the text. To achieve a higher band, the writer must ensure logical progression throughout every section of the essay, use a wider range of cohesive ties more flexibly, and provide a fully developed conclusion that mirrors the introduction.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey basic meanings related to shopping and local business. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'subsidies', 'functional', and 'convenient', but these are accompanied by noticeable word-choice and collocation errors, such as 'make them fully functional' or 'do lot of hard work'. Spelling and word formation are generally clear, but inaccuracies sometimes cause slight strain for the reader. To improve lexical resource, the writer should focus on expanding their range of functional academic vocabulary and ensuring that less common phrases are used accurately within appropriate collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates a limited range of structures, relying on a mix of simple sentences and attempts at complex forms that are often faulty. There are frequent errors in grammar, punctuation, and agreement, such as comma splices ('...special gift vouchers, that helps...'), missing articles, and awkward phrasing like 'due to closing of shop it will negatively affect'. These frequent errors can occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. To reach a higher standard, the writer needs to incorporate a wider variety of error-free complex sentence structures, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, and refine punctuation control across the entire response.

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