Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's world, the drastic rise in the sales of big shoppig stores has caused a considerable loss to small business owners. As a result of this trend, many small shops have been closed. In my opinion, it is a negative develpoment as it effecting society in a bad manner.

The shift of customers' preference to fancy brands in big malls can be attributed to several reasons such as continuous desire of looking rich and attractive. Nowadays, people are very concerned about their personality. They like to buy new, fancy and expensive clothes, shoes and other accessiories in order to look classy. That's why most of the individuals prefer to go the big shopping malls where they can find the excessive amount and quality products. As a result, a lot of small shops have been disappeared.

This trend has a highly negative impact on the society. The first and foremost drawback of this trend is that it is downgrading a nation's economy. As local businesses do not get profit because of absence of customers. The shopkeepers stop paying the taxes to the government which is a direct loss of the country. Whereas, all the famous brands are mostly international and the money from sales ends up boosting a foreign country's wealth.

Secondly, the goods which are sold at big shopping centres are way more expensive as compared to the local shops. Such things are produced internationally and shopkeers sell such items at much more price. For example, a shirt bought from a small shop will be very cheap whereas the same shirt sold in high maintainance mall will be very expensive.

In conclusion, although people can find top quality and various kinds of items in big shopping malls but ignoring the local shops is not the appropriate for the society because small businesses are budget friendly and have significant role in boosting a nation's economy. There should be balance between both small and big stores.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by establishing a clear position that the closure of small shops is a negative development. Ideas are relevant and generally supported with reasons such as economic impact and pricing differences. However, some areas are unevenly developed. For example, the point about people desiring to look rich is stated generally without a deep extension, while the economic argument in the third paragraph touches on taxes and foreign wealth transfer but could be pushed further to fully reach the level of a higher band. Overall, the task is answered satisfactorily with a well-maintained stance throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion. Information and ideas are logically sequenced into separate paragraphs, each focusing on a distinct aspect such as societal pressure, economic effects, and pricing comparisons. Cohesive devices are employed, including transition markers like 'The first and foremost drawback', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion'. Nevertheless, referencing and cohesion are occasionally mechanical or slightly faulty, such as the abrupt transition in sentence fragments like 'As local businesses do not get profit because of absence of customers.' Paragraphing is used sufficiently, but overall progression between ideas occasionally stumbles due to these mechanical links.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'continuous desire', 'downgrading a nation's economy', and 'budget friendly'. However, there are notable limitations and frequent inaccuracies in word choice, spelling, and word form. For instance, 'shoppig' and 'develpoment' contain spelling errors, while phrases like 'excessive amount and quality products' and 'much more price' demonstrate awkward collocations. Word form issues are also evident in sentences like 'it effecting society in a bad manner' and 'shops have been disappeared'. These lexical slips and spelling errors occasionally impede communication and restrict the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at relative clauses and conditional structures such as 'where they can find the excessive amount' and 'a shirt bought from a small shop will be very cheap'. However, there are persistent errors in grammar and punctuation. Issues include prepositional misuse in phrases like 'go the big shopping malls', article omissions in 'because of absence of customers', and awkward passive voice construction in 'have been disappeared'. While these errors do not completely obscure the writer's meaning, they occur frequently enough across different structures to prevent the piece from achieving a higher mark.

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