Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Over the past few years, small neighbourhood shops have shut down as customers majorly prefer to shop from big commercial stores. In my opinion this is a positive development as travelling to the malls provides a source of entertainment and an opportunity to spend time with family. Apart from that, malls have multiple brand's outlets under one roof, which provides the customer a variety of options according to their budget which is not possible in local shops.

Travelling to the malls is a now considered as an outing for some families as these malls not only have shops but also food outlets and gaming zones for children, so simply going to the malls can be considered as opportunity to spend time with family. Moreover, provides an excuse to get out of the house and enjoy themselves which results in bringing a positive impact on their mental health. For example, Some families go to malls every weekend as an incentive for children as well as weekly tradition to spend time together as family.

Furthermore, these mega commercial stores are like a shopping hub, from clothing to grocery stores everything is one place which provides customer the convenience and variety to do all their shopping from one place at competitive prices within their budget.

In conclusion, the trends over the past few years have changed and shoppers prefer to go to huge commercial centres instead of local stores to shop. I would regard this as a positive development as it provides a source of entertainment, positive effect on mental health and a chance to spend time with family. In addition to that, it also provides the customer the ease to get all their necessities under one roof at a good competitive price.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task, presenting a clear position that the closure of local shops is a positive development. Relevant ideas are presented, such as the entertainment value of malls and the convenience of having multiple brands under one roof, which supports the overall stance. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others. For instance, the point regarding the positive impact on mental health is introduced with a general example ('Some families go to malls every weekend'), but it remains somewhat under-developed rather than fully extended throughout the paragraph. To reach a higher level, every main idea needs deeper elaboration with more specific reasoning or varied examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The text demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion, and the use of paragraphs for distinct topics. Information and ideas are logically sequenced throughout the response. However, cohesion at times feels a bit mechanical or faulty. For example, in the second paragraph, the transition 'Moreover, provides an excuse...' lacks a clear subject, creating a slightly disjointed flow. Additionally, referencing is occasionally repetitive or vague, such as the frequent reliance on 'malls' and 'these malls' without seamless substitution. To achieve a stronger flow, a wider variety of cohesive devices and smoother referencing links between sentences would be necessary.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully communicating the writer's opinions. There are attempts to use less common items and phrasing, such as 'commercial stores', 'incentive for children', and 'competitive prices'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as saying customers 'majorly prefer' instead of 'largely prefer', and a punctuation/possessive error like 'brand's outlets' instead of 'brands' outlets'. Spelling and word-choice errors do not impede communication, but to move up to the next band, a wider range of sophisticated vocabulary with greater precision and natural collocation is required.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an ability to construct compound and multi-clause sentences, such as 'Furthermore, these mega commercial stores are like a shopping hub...' There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, including missing subjects ('Moreover, provides an excuse') and article misuse ('Travelling to the malls is a now considered as an outing'). Despite these errors in grammar and punctuation, they rarely impede communication. To improve further, the writer should aim for a higher proportion of error-free complex sentences and finer control over verb forms and articles.

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