Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In modern era, people owning the small business are coming to an end because many customers get attracted to big shopping malls to buy the products. As they want to buy all the things under one roof rather than going shop to shop. I think this has a negative impact on small businesses.

First and foremost reason for purchasing products at shopping centre is people stop visiting to small local shops which is ending the small business as they are not generating good amount of revenue from these businesses. For example - 'The Times of India' published latest news from one of the survey held by government. In which they asked for the reasons why local businesses are shutting down. It is only due to decrease in the demand of customers as they do not visit the local shops often.

Secondly, if people stop buying the products from the shops available in rural area can increase the unemployment rate because shops are getting closed. This cause the problem for population to earn their livelihood and fulfil their basic needs for living. To elaborate, due to this it will put pressure on the government as they expect the loans and food requirements from them at subsidise prices. Moreover, unemployment rate can also allow the youth to do crimes or robberies in cities to earn their livelihood for their families.

To conclude, opening of shopping malls attracted customers at large numbers to buy products from their instead from local shops. This has an overall negative impact on the businesses and people as their earning income is coming to an end.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by clearly presenting a position that the closure of local shops is a negative development. Relevant ideas are introduced, such as the loss of revenue and the potential increase in unemployment, fulfilling the requirements for a satisfactory score in this area. However, some parts of the task are more fully developed than others. For instance, the discussion on unemployment and potential crime in the third paragraph is somewhat generalized and lacks deep elaboration. The main position is clear throughout the text, but the supporting arguments would benefit from further extension and specific real-world exploration rather than relying on brief statements to fully reach a higher tier of development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion, organizing ideas into distinct paragraphs. Cohesive devices are employed to signal transitions between thoughts, such as 'First and foremost reason', 'Secondly', and 'To conclude'. However, the referencing and flow are sometimes mechanical or slightly faulty, creating minor interruptions in the logical progression. For example, the transitional phrase 'First and foremost reason for purchasing products at shopping centre is people stop visiting...' exhibits slightly awkward linking. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to structure the response, but smoother and more varied cohesive links would elevate the organizational quality further.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'revenue', 'unemployment rate', and 'livelihood'. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word form throughout the response. Expressions such as 'people owning the small business are coming to an end' and 'survey held by government' show awkward phrasing. Additionally, minor errors such as 'subsidise prices' instead of 'subsidised prices' and repetitive use of phrases like 'earn their livelihood' indicate limitations in lexical flexibility and precision that prevent the writing from achieving a higher level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt at varied grammatical structures. There are, however, some errors in grammar and punctuation that occur throughout the text. Examples include missing articles or incorrect prepositions, such as 'In modern era', 'from one of the survey held', and 'This cause the problem'. Sentences like 'Moreover, unemployment rate can also allow the youth to do crimes...' also reflect minor structural awkwardness. While these errors rarely impede overall communication, the frequency of basic structural slips and awkward clauses keeps the grammatical score at this particular level.

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