Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, many small local shops have closed because more and more people enjoy visiting large shopping centres or malls for shopping. In my opinion, it is a negative development. This is mainly because many local shops provide wide range of varieties at reasonable prices. In this essay, we will discuss why this is a negatice development with relevent examples.

The main reason is that shopping malls provide goods at fixed rate and it is expensive for many people.some individuals cannot afford such expensive things, so they need to purchase them from local shops instead of shhoping from large shopping centres. For example, many people depend on small shops for houshold appliences, electronics items and groceries. As a reslut, they prefer buying even small items from traditional shops.

Another reason is that it can negatively affect local economy.The main reason is that number of people prefer visiting malls instead of visiting small local shops.This way many customer has reduced visiting small shops. For Instance, many people would like to buy cloths, cosmetics, and even toiletories from shopping centres. As a result, shopping from local shops can reduce annual income of local vendors.

In conclusion, I believe it has negative impact on local shops because in recents days, more customers travel to large shopping malls instead of visting small local stores. It also disadvantageous for local shops because it can craete financial issue in the future. Therefore, citizens should prefer both a large shoppings centres and small local shops.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the task partially, taking a clear stance that the closure of local shops is a negative development. However, the ideas remain limited and under-developed. For instance, the argument regarding pricing contains a contradiction, first claiming malls have fixed rates that are expensive, but later noting that people depend on small shops for groceries. Furthermore, the length requirement is not met, as the response falls slightly short of the 250-word minimum, containing 247 words. To reach a higher band, the writer needs to fully extend their ideas with clearer, more consistent supporting evidence and meet the minimum word count.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

There is some organisation in the essay, with clear paragraphing introduced for separate points. However, overall progression is limited by repetitive reasoning and mechanical use of cohesive devices, such as the repeated phrase 'The main reason is that' and formulaic transitions like 'For Instance' and 'As a result'. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, such as pronoun use in the conclusion. To progress further, the writer should ensure a more logical flow between ideas and use a wider variety of cohesive devices more naturally without falling into repetitive patterns.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate for the task, with noticeable spelling and word choice errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. Examples of errors include 'negatice' instead of negative, 'relevent' instead of relevant, 'shhoping' instead of shopping, 'houshold appliences', 'reslut', 'cloths' instead of clothes, and 'toiletories'. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'annual income' and 'financial issue', but slips in spelling and form hinder precision. A wider and more accurate range of vocabulary is needed to move up.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writing shows a limited range of structures, with frequent errors in grammar, articles, and pluralisation that cause some difficulty for the reader. Examples include 'provide wide range' missing an article, 'electronics items' where a noun modifier is incorrectly pluralised, 'number of people prefer' missing an article, and 'many customer has reduced' containing a subject-verb agreement error. Attempts at complex sentences often contain faulty phrasing. To achieve a higher band, the writer must reduce the frequency of basic grammatical errors and demonstrate better control over complex sentence structures and punctuation.

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