Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, some local stores have been closed because people prefer to visit large shopping malls in order to do their shopping. I believe that it is a negative development because it increases unemployment in the nation, and shopping in large malls are quite expensive. In this essay, I will support my opinion with concrete examples.

This trend would increase unemployment in the countries. This is because if people travel to large shopping centres instead of buying products from small local shops, this trend may close the local stores, and they might loose their jobs. For example, some local store in the urban areas are getting closed due to several shopping malls in the cities. As a result, this development has a detrimental impact on local people and local stores.

Furthermore, sometimes products are very expensive in the malls as comapred to the small stores. This is mainly because many rich people prefer to buy branded items from the shopping centres rather than purchasing them from small shops. For instance, many items are quite cheaper in the small shops as compared to large malls. However, some people go to shopping malls and buy product there because of various amenities and premium services. Therefore, people from the local stores earn less money and they end up closing the stores.

In conclusion, Although huge shopping centres are becoming incresingly popular across the globe, I firmly believe that it is a negative development because shopping in malls are usually costly, and local people may lose their jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by presenting a clear position that the closure of local shops is a negative development, supporting it with two main arguments regarding unemployment and pricing. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat uneven. For instance, the second body paragraph introduces the idea that prices are higher in malls due to rich buyers, but the explanation becomes slightly repetitive and contradictory when it states that items are cheaper in small shops, without fully exploring the broader economic implications. To reach a higher level, the ideas need to be more fully extended and supported with deeper analysis rather than general statements.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear stance stated in the introduction and reinforced in the conclusion. Information and ideas are generally organized logically, and paragraphs are used to structure the response. Cohesive devices are employed, such as 'Furthermore', 'For instance', and 'Therefore', but referencing and linking can occasionally feel slightly mechanical. The transition between sentences sometimes lacks smooth progression, which is characteristic of this level, showing solid competence while stopping just short of a fully fluid and seamless logical flow throughout.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The writer uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'detrimental impact', 'amenities', and 'premium services'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors, including 'loose' instead of 'lose', 'comapred' instead of 'compared', and 'incresingly' instead of 'increasingly'. Furthermore, the phrase 'shopping in large malls are quite expensive' contains a collocation and number agreement slip. These errors do not impede communication, but they reflect the ceiling for this band where lexical control is not yet fully consistent or precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The student demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures such as 'This is because if people travel...' and 'Although huge shopping centres are becoming increasingly popular...'. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('shopping in large malls are', 'some local store... are getting closed'), but these errors rarely impede communication. The control over simple sentences is generally good, and while complex structures are attempted, they occasionally contain minor slips. To improve, the writer needs to increase the proportion of error-free complex sentences.

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