Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.0)

yes, in last years we had seen that a lot of people people go to the big ball and jokes in the top shops are not visiting the local shops because of their environment but if local shops have a good taste and have a good things good clothes in their shop then a lot of people go their local shops and if some people needs a good taste needs a good taste in clothing and shopping that some local shops have, but in their most a lot of people don't show go for shopping they are going for chilling for me. I am going in mall and chilling not shopping but it's not a good thing because local stops have their own situations that lot people so far in poverty so we have to go in local shops than the big mall and big shop I prefer go to local shop because they have a good taste and I like them but I don't know why people prefer to go to mall and speak because they are in high level in their environment but I prefer to go to local shop if we see as a foreigner to see that people grow their societies and walls and big but for some people who are poor and in poverty, but there is not a good thing to do I love if we see is as a country developement for a good thing some people go to large shops because our shops had their own a lot of articles they love more

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response addresses the task only minimally. The writer touches upon the closure of local shops and the preference for malls, mentioning aspects like social environments and economic impacts on poorer individuals, such as in the phrase 'local stops have their own situations that lot people so far in poverty'. However, the position remains unclear throughout the essay, and the ideas are severely limited and under-developed. The arguments jump between shopping preferences and social commentary without forming a cohesive exploration of whether this is a positive or negative development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.0

The information and ideas are not arranged coherently. There is an absence of functional paragraphing, with the entire response presented as a single, dense block of text. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, leading to a breakdown in logical progression. Run-on sentences and a lack of proper punctuation make it very difficult for the reader to follow the train of thought, as seen in the continuous string of clauses connected by repetitive conjunctions like 'and if' and 'because'.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, employing simple terms such as 'good things', 'good clothes', and 'big mall'. There are frequent lexical errors and inappropriate word choices, such as writing 'ball' instead of 'mall' and 'jokes' instead of 'shops', as well as awkward collocations like 'speak because they are in high level'. These basic errors and the limited vocabulary strain the reader and prevent effective communication of more nuanced ideas.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple, error-prone clauses linked together incorrectly. Grammatical errors are frequent throughout the text, including severe issues with subject-verb agreement, verb tenses (e.g., 'in last years we had seen'), and missing or incorrect articles. Punctuation is largely absent, resulting in comma splices and run-on structures that make many sentences difficult to parse and frequently distort the intended meaning.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.