Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this modern era, a large number of individuals prefer to shop from highly reputated malls rather than the small shops. I strongly believe that this is a negative development due to many distinct reasons such as small businesses getting affected badly.

The most prominent point is that by shopping from the large shopping centres people are ignoring various small businesses due to which small shops are facing a big decline in the customers leading them to close their businesses. To elaborate on it, small scale industry depends on their day-to-day sales for their survival but if the public keep choosing the large malls for shopping then small shops will not get any customers at all which can be a big cause of unemployment in the upcoming years. The more small scale businesses will be closed the more unemployment rates will be going up.

Additionally, Various brands in the malls sell all the items at hefty prices which can possibily be purchased at a significantly decent prices at a local shop. Brands in the big malls are just creating the hype for their name by targeting people specially youngsters to sell their items at high rates to just to show-off. For example, H&M and Zara are one of those brands which are popular among the young generation. Not only does it affects it paves a path for ypoung people to show-off but they also demand for high pocket-money from their parents to afford them.

In conclusion, Shopping from the big centres is really becoming a big concern which can result in bigger problems as well as unwanted consequences in the future that is why it is needed to be adressed with effective solutions such as awareness as soon as possible.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by clearly presenting a position that the closure of small shops is a negative development. It presents relevant ideas, such as the economic impact on small businesses leading to unemployment and the high prices at mall brands. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others; for instance, the point regarding young people and branding is slightly repetitive and touches upon social behaviour rather than strictly economic analysis. The main arguments are extended with explanations, but to reach a higher level, the ideas would need more fully elaborated consequences and precise examples beyond general mentions of specific store names.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The text maintains a coherent overall arrangement with a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the body paragraphs and the conclusion. Each paragraph has a clear central topic, such as employment consequences in the second paragraph and brand pricing in the third. Cohesive devices like 'Additionally' and 'In conclusion' are used to connect ideas, although referencing and cohesive links can occasionally feel a bit mechanical, such as 'To elaborate on it'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct points, yet smoother transitions between sentences would elevate the organizational flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully communicating the writer's perspective. There are attempts to use less common items and phrases, such as 'prominent point', 'day-to-day sales', and 'unemployment rates'. However, there are some word-choice and collocation inaccuracies, such as 'highly reputated' instead of 'reputable', 'possibily', and 'adressed', along with minor stylistic awkwardness like 'creating the hype for their name'. These lexical errors do not impede communication, but reducing these inaccuracies and demonstrating a more precise control of less common vocabulary is necessary for a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating the ability to construct longer sentences with subordinate clauses, such as 'To elaborate on it, small scale industry depends on their day-to-day sales...'. There are some errors in grammar, such as missing articles ('at significantly decent prices'), subject-verb agreement issues ('Not only does it affects'), and minor punctuation or prepositions inside grammatical patterns. However, these errors rarely impede communication and the meaning remains clear throughout. To improve further, the writer needs to increase the proportion of error-free complex sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.