Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. I believe that this is a very positive development, as large shopping malls provide a clean and secure environment to the customers.

In comparison to small local shops, a large shopping mall provides a far better shopping experience. There are a lot of facilities in a shopping mall. Nowadays, large shopping malls have play areas for kids, restaurants, cinemas and many more activities for its visitors.

Furthermore, a shopping mall provides a very secure environment to the visitors in comparison to small local shops. Theft incidents are very common in small local shops and people can not freely use cash or make card payments.

Moreover, small local shops are usually located in a busy area, therefore, families avoid taking their children along. Whereas, shopping malls have made it very convenient for families, as they can take their children along. In fact, families can leave their children in the play area and shop care free.

Additionally, as there are hundreds of brands and stores in a shopping mall, the customers get a lot of price benefit through special discounts. In conclusion, I would say that yes many small local shops have been closed because customers travel to large shopping malls to their shopping and this is a very positive development, as it has made shopping experience secure, convenient, enjoyable, and cheap. Furthermore, it provides a full day entertainment to the visitors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position that the closure of small shops in favour of malls is a positive development, and it presents relevant ideas to support this view. However, the length requirement is not met, as the student's response contains only 230 words, falling short of the 250-word minimum (furthermore, 22 words copied directly from the task prompt were excluded from this count). While the main parts of the task are addressed, some ideas are under-developed rather than fully extended; for instance, the point about price benefits and special discounts is introduced abruptly in the final paragraph without sufficient elaboration or concrete examples. To reach a higher band, the writer needs to expand the text beyond the word count minimum and provide deeper, fully elaborated support for every main argument presented.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear position maintained throughout, and the response is divided into logical paragraphs that each focus on a specific benefit of shopping malls, such as safety, family convenience, and entertainment facilities. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas, such as 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', and 'Additionally'. However, referencing and cohesion can sometimes feel a bit mechanical, and the conclusion contains a slight run-on tendency. To achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, the writer should employ a wider and more flexible range of cohesive ties to link sentences and paragraphs more smoothly, ensuring that transitions between ideas feel completely natural and unobtrusive rather than formulaic.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to communicate straightforward ideas about shopping malls and local shops. The student makes noticeable attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'secure environment', 'play areas', and 'convenient'. However, there are limitations and inaccuracies in word choice and collocation; for example, writing 'get a lot of price benefit' instead of 'benefit from competitive pricing', or stating that people 'can not freely use cash or make card payments' which sounds slightly unnatural in this context. To move up to the next band, the writer needs to incorporate a wider range of less common lexical items with greater precision, demonstrating a stronger command of natural collocations and idiomatic phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The student demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures like conditional ideas and subordinate clauses introduced by 'as' and 'whereas'. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation present throughout the text, such as the missing article in 'to the customers', redundant phrasing like 'travel to large shopping malls to their shopping' in the conclusion, and unnecessary commas separating subjects from predicates. Nevertheless, these errors rarely impede communication and the meaning remains clear. To attain a higher band, the writer must incorporate a wider variety of complex grammatical structures with a higher frequency of completely error-free sentences, alongside tighter punctuation control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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