Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this growing buisness era, Small businesses or the local shops are closing day by day due to high demand of large shopping malls for shopping, because people now a days want everything on one place and believe that things in the shopping centres are very good quality and have regulary discounts which give affordability. Additionally, these shopping malls have big brands which most of the poeple are fond of and the like to buy these branded items like clothes, shoes, watches, bags, perfumes and many more things, and individuals believe that these things will showcase their status and some people even showoff. This is where the local shops suffer the most because individuals preffer to go more to the shoppind malls in the seek of high quality items like food and clothes though that things are expensive. This is a negative development of closing local shops.

I would like to give an example from my home country was the time when there were many local shops who use to sell handicrafts and other hand made items like, blankets, sarees with handmade designs, and many more, and this was the time when shopping malls were not in the existance. Eventually, Due to growth in technology the machines replaced this handmade items. Futhermore this casused in the clopase of local shps. But though the handmade items were affordabale and very good in quality better then machine made goods. Lastly, this shows that though shopping malls have everything with big brands but people should also promopte local shops which are associated with their country culture and heritage.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by identifying the closure of small shops and presenting a clear position that this is a negative development. Relevant ideas are presented, such as the appeal of shopping malls due to brand variety, status display, and perceived quality, alongside a personal example regarding traditional handicrafts. However, some ideas are under-developed or lack full elaboration. For instance, the discussion on status symbols and hand-made items introduces strong points but rushes through them without fully exploring the broader economic or social implications of the shift away from local commerce. Despite these limitations in depth, the main requirements of the prompt are successfully met.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear stance established early on and maintained through the conclusion. Progression is visible, moving from the general advantages of malls and the impact on local shops in the first paragraph to a historical home-country example in the second. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical and referencing is occasionally unclear. Devices such as 'Additionally', 'Eventually', and 'Futhermore' are used to link sentences and paragraphs, but transitional phrasing can feel abrupt. Paragraphing is employed, separating the introductory main argument from the illustrative example, though internal logical flow within paragraphs would benefit from smoother cohesive transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, providing enough range to communicate basic ideas about shopping habits and local businesses. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary and phrases, such as 'showcase their status', 'culture and heritage', and 'handicrafts'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word-choice errors that detract from precision, including 'buisness', 'regulary', 'poeple', 'preffer', 'shoppind', 'existance', 'casused', 'clopase', and 'promopte'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they reflect a limited and occasionally inaccurate control of lexical features, keeping the response firmly in the middle band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting multi-clause structures such as 'because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping' and 'though the handmade items were affordabale and very good in quality'. However, there are some errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('clothes, shoes... and many more things, and individuals believe'), missing articles ('in one place' instead of 'in one place'), preposition misuse ('on one place' instead of 'in one place'), and run-on sentence structures with loose conjunctions. Fortunately, these errors rarely impede overall communication, allowing the reader to follow the intended message despite the structural inaccuracies.

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