Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In present times, people are doing shopping in big malls because of that many small shops has been closed. According to my view, it is a positive development because customers can do all the shopping in one place and they can get heavy discounts when buying in bulk.

First of all, people are purchasing products in shopping centres because they can find all the goods which they wanted in a single place, so they do not have to travel to various locations to purchase the products. Moreover, if customers are tired of doing shopping big malls have relaxations centre and refreshment facilities so they can enjoy their shopping. For example, shopping malls has sleeping pods and relaxation equipment which help their customers to relax and gave them a best shopping experience.

Secondly, large shop owners have many strategies to attract shoppers. The most effective approach is to provide discounts on the product which are trending because people will buy the item which has good quality and the price is cheap as compared to other shop. Moreover, the shop owner purchase products in bulk quantity directly from the manufacturer so they can provide heavy discounts to their customers.On the other hand, small shop owners have to purchase the same product from the distributor which charge them higher price than the manufacturer evenly there profit Margin will come down. For instance small shop owners have to pay more price to the company because they can purchase the goods in bulk quantities but large orders could get big discounts so they owners can give discounts to their customers.

In conclusion, many small shop are getting close because of big shopping malls. It could be a positive outcome for the shoppers because they will get product in discounted prices and they can find all the products under one roof top. Manufacturers are providing discount to large order but not the small one because of that the small shop owners are struggling.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by taking a clear position that the closure of small shops due to the rise of malls is a positive development. The main ideas, such as convenience and bulk discounts, are relevant and extended. However, some aspects show uneven development, typical of a mid-level band, where points like the availability of relaxation facilities in malls are introduced but rely on general assertions rather than thorough extension. The writer succeeds in presenting an overall position throughout the essay, though the exploration of the economic impact on small shop owners versus large manufacturers could be more fully articulated to reach higher standards.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The text presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the argument into an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is utilised to separate distinct points, such as convenience in the first body paragraph and economic pricing strategies in the second. Cohesive devices are employed, including connectors like 'First of all', 'Moreover', and 'Secondly'. However, cohesion can sometimes feel mechanical or slightly faulty, and referencing is occasionally unclear, such as pronoun use in 'so they owners can give discounts', which slightly disrupts the smooth progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms related to commerce and shopping, such as 'manufacturers', 'distributor', 'profit margin', and 'bulk quantity'. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, but these are accompanied by some inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word form, for example, 'doing shopping' instead of 'shopping', and 'discounted prices' versus 'prices in discounted prices'. Spelling and word-choice errors occur, but they do not impede overall communication, ensuring the text remains comprehensible.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, though attempts at complex structures frequently contain errors. There are notable grammatical issues throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement errors such as 'small shops has been closed' and 'shopping malls has sleeping pods', as well as article omissions and preposition errors in phrases like 'charge them higher price'. Punctuation is also occasionally weak, with run-on phrasing and missing periods in compound sentences. Despite these frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, the sentences are generally structured well enough that they rarely impede communication.

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