Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, a number of small local businesses, especially shops, have encountered permanent closure because there has been a trend among consumers to visit large shopping malls to do shopping. This development resulted in great economical loss for local business owners which had a negative impact overall. This essay will explore the reason of this trend and also discuss its further drawbacks in detail.

In recent times, there has been a growing trend among customers to travel to shopping malls to do their shopping. In a way, shopping malls are a useful addition to a city or a town. People prioritize malls because they provide the convenience of various facilities under one roof including shops, food court and cinemas. This preference had an adverse effect on local shop market because of a decreased number of customers resulted in unavoidable financial losses which urged many shop owners to close their shops. For example, a well-known local tailor would face a substantial decrease in customer numbers because a mall has opened nearby. Most of his clients would choose ready-to-wear clothes from a well-known brand in the mall. This might be time-saving for the consumer but highly stressful for the tailor because he could be forced to close the shop.

Therefore, this development has an overall negative impact, especially in small communities where people support each other's businesses. Closure of shops puts small business owners in a tough situation and they are left with two options; either change their career or relocate to another town. Furthermore, this can effect mental well-being of not only the business owner, but also their family. For example, a local shop owner has a compulsion to close his shop and relocate to another city. This will disrupt his daily-life as well as his family's. His children would need to go to a new school and have to make new friends, losing their old friends. This change of circumstances could disturb them mentally and effect their studies also.

In conclusion, opening of new malls is great for the society but too many shopping malls can effect local business owners both psychologically and financially. As a result, rich will keep getting richer and poor will keep getting poorer, this will disrupt the socio-economic balance of society and will have long-term negative effects that could be difficult to repair.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear throughout: you judge the closure of local shops to be negative, while acknowledging that malls offer convenience. You address the reasons for the trend and explain consequences for owners and their families, using the tailor and relocating-shopkeeper examples to support your points. This gives the response a relevant, developed argument. Some claims, however, are broad or hypothetical: the discussion of children changing schools illustrates disruption, but the link between mall growth and owners having to relocate could be explained more directly. The conclusion’s claim that “rich will keep getting richer” also needs a clearer explanation of how this follows from the examples. More precise development of these points would make the argument more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall progression: the introduction states your negative view, the first body paragraph explains why customers choose malls and how this affects shops, the next develops the social consequences, and the conclusion restates your position. Paragraphing is appropriate, and signposts such as “For example,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument. At times, however, the linking feels formulaic, and some connections could be made more explicitly. For instance, the move from the tailor’s financial difficulties to the broader effects on families is understandable but could be bridged with a sentence explaining how business closure leads to relocation. The repeated hypothetical shop-owner examples also make progression less varied; clearer reference to the earlier example would strengthen cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “financial losses,” “adverse effect,” “mental well-being,” and “socio-economic balance.” These choices help communicate the economic and personal consequences, and the meaning remains clear. However, some less common expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “great economical loss,” “the reason of this trend,” and “a compulsion to close his shop.” There are also word-form and collocation problems, including “effect” where the verb “affect” is needed and “local shop market.” Aim for more natural combinations and precise word forms, rather than adding formal-sounding phrases. This would make your vocabulary more controlled and flexible.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “because,” “which,” and “where,” and most sentences communicate their meaning clearly. Some grammatical errors remain. For example, “a decreased number of customers resulted in” needs a clearer grammatical connection, while “the rich will keep getting richer and poor will keep getting poorer, this will disrupt” joins two independent clauses with only a comma. In “His children would need to go to a new school and have to make new friends,” the modal construction is not parallel; use “would have to” for both actions. There are also occasional article and agreement issues. Review sentence boundaries, parallel structures, and consistent verb forms to improve accuracy while retaining your complex sentences.

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