Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Recently, local small businesses are winding up due to low number of cutomers as they prefer to shop in big shopping malls and centres, this issue has attracted considerable attention. Many people might view this as a economic development, although, In my opinion, this is a negative development which will be explained in this essay.

On the one side, people choose shopping malls due to one location for every need. It is very convenient to drive to one place to

shop for groceries, shoes,clothes and other essentials as well as for the entertainment such as watching a movie, or playing games. On top of that, they launch variety of schemes and lucrative discounts to save money and then once the monopoly is gained, they control the prices and product availability to manage their variable expenses. Consequently, mall stores sell products at higher price compared to local shops.

On the other side, decline in number of local shops decreases the sense of community and damage the local economy. People who live in neighbourhood prefer to shop from local stores, will leave with no support in need of emergency for any grocery items. Moreover, small shops becomes a social hub for people to interac and meet. For instance, shop owners usually build connection and trust with customers which drive their business succesfully, which large shopping malls can not replicate. Moreover, when small shops close, money tend to flow in corporate large shopping malls , which will weaken the local shops economy and chances to survive.

In conclusion, it is evident that large shopping centres provides convenience at the cost of local shop closures as well as decline in local economy, this is a very big negative development, efforts should be made to support local business alondgside modern retail development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider the closure of local shops a negative development, and the conclusion restates this view. You address both the appeal of malls and the effects of local-shop closures, supporting your points with relevant examples such as convenience, discounts, community connections and money flowing to large retailers. This gives the response a clear, relevant argument. To strengthen it further, develop some claims more precisely: for example, explain how mall price control follows from gaining a monopoly, or give a specific example of how local businesses support the neighbourhood economy. The point about emergency grocery needs is relevant but could be connected more explicitly to the wider consequences of closures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs and a conclusion. The progression from the convenience of malls to the disadvantages of local-shop closures is easy to follow, and signposts such as “On the one side,” “On the other side” and “In conclusion” help identify the stages of the argument. However, some connections are mechanical, and a few sentences contain several ideas joined together, making the relationships less clear. For instance, the sentence beginning “On top of that” moves from discounts to monopoly and then prices without clearly showing how each point follows. Use clearer sentence boundaries and more precise referencing, and vary linking methods so the argument flows naturally rather than relying mainly on formulaic transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “lucrative discounts,” “monopoly,” “sense of community,” “social hub” and “local economy.” These choices help express both the commercial and social effects of the trend. There are also some inaccurate or awkward word choices and collocations, such as “a economic development,” “support in need of emergency,” and “money tend to flow in corporate large shopping malls.” Spelling errors, including “cutomers,” “interac” and “succesfully,” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural combinations, such as “economic development,” “help in an emergency,” and “money flows to large corporate retailers.” Proofreading spelling and choosing precise phrases would make your vocabulary more controlled and fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “although,” “which” and “when,” and the main ideas remain understandable. However, some errors in agreement, articles, sentence boundaries and punctuation recur. Examples include “a economic development,” “small shops becomes,” and “large shopping centres provides”; these require “an,” “become” and “provide.” The opening sentence joins two independent clauses with a comma, while the conclusion also runs several ideas together. There are occasional missing or misplaced commas, and some sentence structures are difficult to follow. Work on subject–verb agreement and article use, and divide long sentences into clearer units. More accurate control of these patterns would make your complex sentences easier to read.

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