Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, numbers of local shops have been forced to withdrew their busineses owing to the fact that the customers have heavily shifted their attention or have developed their intrest towards the large shopping centres or malls.

In my opinion, this trend marks the positive change. Of course, local street vendors (local vendors) are most likely be annoyed or get offended by this analysis but the reality remains that the customers are the most integral element of any business. Therfore, it is equally important that the interest of the customers must never be overlooked.

While I totally understand that the large chunk of potential customers, shifting to big markets have adversely affected the financials of local vendors in terms of their earnings / incomes but at the end of the day, it is the customer who spends money.

Now when the customers spends money, it is quite obvious that they are looking for a quality product. That one element is enough to explain the mentaility of most of the customers and the fact that why they have opted for big shopping stores, these days.

For instance, if an individual is to purchase some electronic gadget, it is quite understandable that he will prefer barging in some branded store rather to buy the same product from any local vendor or shop. It is because not only that the customers are looking for a quality product but a releiable product too that in his opinion is a durable product and give him a satisfaction in terms of true value of money he has spent.

Another aspect of the matter is that mostly the local vendors dont issue proper receipts, are usually tax evaders, dont offer money back gurantees or replacements in case of faulty product. Therefore, the customers dont trust them but with the branded shops, not only that they sense that they are purchasing a quality product but also the assurance that in case if anything is wrong with the product, the company or the brand will take care of it. And this trend is not limited to electronic shops, People now a days like to have their daily groceries from big malls rather than local street vendors or markets.

For the reasons mentioned above, I think customers shiftig towards big stores is a positive change.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction to the conclusion: you consider the shift to malls a positive development, mainly because customers may find better-quality products and stronger guarantees. The examples about buying electronics and groceries are relevant, and the discussion of receipts, replacements and consumer protection gives your argument useful support. This meets the task well. However, some points are asserted more broadly than they are explained: for example, the claim that local vendors are “usually tax evaders” is sweeping and is not supported with evidence, while the benefits of malls are not balanced against possible disadvantages such as reduced choice or harm to local communities. Develop these points more carefully to make the position more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a clear opinion, supporting paragraphs and a concluding restatement. Ideas generally progress from customer priorities to product reliability and then to guarantees, and linking phrases such as “For instance” and “Another aspect” help signal examples. However, the progression is sometimes mechanical, with repeated transitions such as “Therefore” and repeated references to “the customers.” The paragraph beginning “While I totally understand” does not clearly complete its contrast, and the following paragraph repeats the point about customers spending money rather than advancing the argument. Some references, including “That one element,” are not fully precise. Group related points more tightly and use clearer links between claims and examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “potential customers,” “branded store,” “durable product,” “value for money” and “replacements.” These choices help communicate your focus on quality and consumer confidence. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “numbers of local shops,” “shifted their attention,” “financials,” and “barging in some branded store.” Spelling errors—including “busineses,” “intrest,” “mentaility,” “releliable” and “gurantees”—also reduce precision. Some expressions are unnecessarily wordy, for example “owing to the fact that.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully; this will make your vocabulary more effective without requiring more complicated words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple statements and longer complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “While,” “because” and “not only…but also.” This shows an attempt to vary sentence structure, and your main meaning is generally understandable. However, errors in verb forms, agreement and sentence construction recur. For example, “have been forced to withdrew” should use a past participle, and “the customers spends” has a subject–verb agreement error. In “local vendors … are most likely be annoyed,” the infinitive construction is incomplete. The sentence beginning “While I totally understand” is left without a clear main clause, and “not only that … but also” is not formed correctly. Review these patterns and punctuate long sentences more carefully to improve control.

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