Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In contemporary society, shopping has become a norm, where many local shops shut down due to the incredible shopping experience at malls. I think it is a positive development.

Without any qualms, shopping centers provide an abundant variety of clothes, imported products and an extraordinary collection which is unbeatable compared to the small local shops. For instance, the fabric of the cloth has better quality with the inclusive brands. which is unfullfiled by small shops

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You state a clear view—“I think it is a positive development”—and give one relevant reason: malls offer a wider range of products and brands. However, the response addresses the question only minimally. It does not explain the effects of local shops closing, develop the comparison, or provide a sufficiently clear example; the fabric-and-brands point is unfinished. The required minimum of 250 words is not met, so there is too little material to support your position or cover the task in depth. To improve, explain at least two consequences, such as convenience for shoppers and the impact on local businesses, then support each with a specific example and a concluding statement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic overall sequence: you introduce the topic and your opinion, then begin a supporting paragraph with “For instance.” This gives the reader a simple direction to follow. However, the response ends abruptly, and the example does not develop into a complete explanation. The phrase “Without any qualms” signals a point, but the relationship between the range of products and the claim that this is positive could be made more explicit. The final fragment also interrupts the flow. Use separate, complete paragraphs for your position, developed reasons, and conclusion, and connect each example to the main argument with clear explanation.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt some topic-related and less common expressions, including “abundant variety,” “imported products,” and “extraordinary collection,” which show an effort to go beyond basic vocabulary. However, some choices are unnatural or imprecise: “shopping has become a norm” is vague, and “inclusive brands” does not clearly express the intended meaning. “Unfullfiled” is also misspelled, and “fabric of the cloth” is repetitive. These choices make parts of the example difficult to interpret. Aim for accurate, natural collocations such as “a wide range of products,” “well-known brands,” and “higher-quality clothing.” Check spelling and choose words that express your point directly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response includes a few different sentence patterns, such as the opening clause beginning “where many local shops shut down” and the example introduced by “For instance.” The main opinion sentence is also clear and grammatically controlled. However, the range is limited, and the final section contains a sentence-boundary problem: “which is unfullfiled by small shops” is separated from the preceding sentence and is not a complete sentence. The full stop after “brands” also leaves “which” without a clear grammatical connection. Practise combining supporting details into complete sentences, and use relative clauses correctly—for example, attach “which” directly to the noun or idea it describes.

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