Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Shopping centres have become the centre of attraction for many people. Today's individuals, including teenagers and students, are attracted to the lavish lifestyle. Therefore, malls give a variety of choices to make. In my opinion, I largely believe its a positive development, as malls are easy to approach and accessible. Whereas, I also think it has some negative impact on small business owners.

Shopping centres are considered a source of entertainment. There are a variety of activities to participate in, like play zones, talent shows, and a cineplex. Moreover, people don't have to travel to different locations because everything is built inside a mall for accessibility and convenience. Being a large building, many students and pupils are served with opportunities to work in different sectors, which reduces the unemployment rate. In addition, different brands of clothing, essentials, shoes and home appliances are purchased at affordable prices with amazing blockbuster deals, which attract more customers.

On the other hand, small local shops are facing poverty and financial crises, which create tension within their family. Their small grocery shops are believed as pocket friendly and can be accessed during busy hours of the day. Therefore, these local shops are their source of income, which is affected by advanced developments.

To conclude, Developments are essential for the growth of society. The generation has become incredibly advanced and supportive, which is helpful for meeting the demand of a country. Whereas small businesses are getting affected by government actions. The poverty rates are reaching new heights. Therefore, every business owner should be given equal opportunity to expand their business and earn profit.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is identifiable: you consider the growth of malls largely positive while acknowledging harm to small businesses. You address both sides with relevant points, including entertainment, convenience, employment and the loss of income for local shopkeepers. However, the positive case is developed more fully than the negative one, and several claims need clearer explanation or support. For example, the link between malls and lower unemployment is asserted without showing how many jobs are created or who benefits. The conclusion also introduces “government actions” without explaining their role in the issue. To strengthen the response, explain the effects on communities and consumers more precisely, and support key claims with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph presenting benefits, a contrasting paragraph on local shops, and a conclusion. This makes the main line of argument easy to follow. You also use signposts such as “Moreover,” “In addition,” and “On the other hand” to connect points. At times, however, these links feel mechanical or do not express the relationship accurately. “Whereas” is used as a sentence opener in the introduction and conclusion without a complete contrast structure, and the final paragraph shifts to government actions without a clear link to the earlier discussion. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make each paragraph develop one connected line of reasoning, with clearer references between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “shopping centres,” “unemployment rate,” “financial crises,” and “source of income.” There are also attempts at more expressive language, such as “lavish lifestyle” and “advanced developments.” Some choices are imprecise or unnatural, which limits clarity and flexibility: “centre of attraction” is not the usual expression here, “facing poverty and financial crises” overstates the likely effect, and “brands … are purchased at affordable prices” does not clearly describe what is affordable. “Pocket friendly” is informal for this essay. Aim for precise collocations and avoid dramatic claims unless you can support them; this will make your argument sound more natural and appropriately formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “which,” and “as,” and most of the meaning remains clear. Some grammatical errors and awkward constructions are present. For example, “I largely believe its a positive development” needs the possessive pronoun “it’s” and a more natural structure, while “small local shops are believed as pocket friendly” has an incorrect passive pattern. The sentence beginning “Being a large building” also leaves the relationship between the mall and the students unclear. Capitalisation is inconsistent in “Developments” after the conclusion marker. Review sentence boundaries and clause structure, and check apostrophes, passive forms, and punctuation when editing.

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