Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Humans can survived in those Areas, where they can easily find out their basic need of life. Food and clothese and some others missilenious things are key important for servived .Some years ago only City Areas having big shopping mall.Although,Majority rural Areas populations are visiting to City site.They are catching a bus or Taxi.That's not only the cause of wastage of time.also spending a lot of money. Now a day, A lot of big shoping mall are opening in some rural Areas. So Village people can easily fulfill their expanses.and Everthing are easily under accsess. Large shoping mall also created some opertunities for non jobs holder.

Howere,I would like to share my own area experience and observation.Ten years ago some of our local area people made some grossery shops. They invest a large amounts. A lot of village people are buying their basic needs items from their shops. And ther ownwer of shopkeepers are earning good money. Some items are somewhat expansive but still avialiabe in the shoping. Now a days a lot of shopkepper loses thier interest. Beacause majority of people are visiting towards some big shopping mall. and it some shopping mall having good quilty of brands. but it is dominantly effected jobs of local shops.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You address the topic and give a relevant personal example: local grocery shops once served village residents, while the growth of malls has reduced customers and affected shopkeepers’ jobs. However, your position is not stated clearly as either a positive or negative development. The opening focuses on the convenience of malls and employment opportunities, but the later paragraph emphasises harm to local businesses, leaving the overall judgement uncertain. The reasons are also only briefly explained, and the example is not developed enough to show the wider effects. The response is below the required 250 words, so it does not meet the task’s length requirement. State your view directly, then develop two supporting reasons with specific explanation or examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: the first paragraph discusses access to malls, and the second introduces your local experience. This gives the reader some sense of a beginning and a shift to an example. However, the progression between ideas is often unclear. For instance, “So Village people can easily fulfill their expanses” does not clearly connect to the preceding point, and the contrast introduced by “Howere” is not fully explained. Several sentences begin with “And,” “Now a days,” or “but,” making the links feel repetitive or abrupt. Paragraphing is present, but the response needs a clearer sequence: state your position, explain each reason, and use linking phrases to show how the example supports that position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “shopping mall,” “basic needs,” “rural areas,” “brands,” and “shopkeepers,” so the subject is generally recognisable. However, the range is basic and several inaccurate or misspelled expressions make meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “missilenious things,” “expanses” where you appear to mean expenses, “non jobs holder,” and “dominantly effected.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “visiting towards some big shopping mall” and “good quilty of brands.” Aim for accurate, natural phrases such as “travel to a shopping centre,” “local retailers,” and “employment opportunities.” Proofreading spelling and choosing precise words will make your ideas much easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both short statements and longer sentences, including a contrast with “Although” and a reason introduced by “Because.” However, sentence structures are often incomplete or inaccurately joined, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation frequently interrupt the message. For example, “Humans can survived” uses the wrong verb form, while “A lot of big shoping mall are opening” has agreement problems. “Some years ago only City Areas having big shopping mall” lacks a correctly formed main verb, and several sentences run together without clear punctuation. Practise building complete subject–verb sentences first, then combine them with accurate conjunctions. Check singular and plural forms and use consistent sentence boundaries.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.