Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is true that people prefer to visit big malls and shops in big cities rather then a local store for shopping. There are number of local bussiness that have been shut down. From myn point of view this is a negative trend which i will discuss in upcoming paragraphs.

Firstly, when people visit these big stores, malls and shops they have more options for shopping because these stores carries a number of different brands clothes, shoes and other things. So, it is easy for customers to purchase all varity under the one roof. For example, A new shopping mall opend last year in my city where people can find more than 200 brands shops.Apart from that, discounts attract the customers and these stores put high discounts on items which beacome the reason for more people visting to here rather than local stores.

However, there are number of negative effects of this trend on local bussiness.

Local bussiness man put there life time saving in thier bussines and some of them take loans from banks so if shopper prefers to visit big store rather than local then there are high change of bussines faliure that can also effect on society and loacl market. Moreover, closing the local shops also increase the unemployment rate and it would be hard for locals to earn butter and bread. For example , i read in a newspaper that more than 300 locals shops closed last year in delhi just because a Dehli got 4 new shopping malls last year.

Although, there are number of benefits of big shopping malls and stores but the drawbacks over shadow the benefits and it is negative trend.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider the closure of local shops a negative development, and the conclusion reinforces this view. You address both the appeal of malls—greater choice and discounts—and the effects on local businesses, employment and the community. The example of shops closing after new malls opened helps support your argument. This meets the task well, though the positive side is less fully explored: you mention shoppers’ benefits but do not explain whether these advantages might outweigh the harms or why they do not. Some consequences, such as effects on society and the local market, are also asserted rather than explained. Developing these points with clearer cause-and-effect reasoning would make the response more complete and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, a paragraph about why shoppers choose malls, a paragraph on the negative effects, and a concluding opinion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “However,” and “Moreover” help readers follow the main stages of the argument. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and some links between ideas are not fully clear. For instance, the first body paragraph moves from choice to discounts without explaining how these points relate to the overall negative position. The phrase “these stores” is also repeated, while the transition from the benefits paragraph to the drawbacks could more explicitly show that the benefits do not outweigh the costs. Use clearer referencing and connect each example directly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “shopping malls,” “local businesses,” “discounts,” “unemployment rate,” and “loans from banks.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice, spelling and collocation errors make the writing less precise, such as “all varity under the one roof,” “high change of bussines faliure,” and “earn butter and bread.” Some expressions are also repetitive, particularly “big stores, malls and shops.” Aim for accurate, natural phrases and check spelling carefully; for example, use “a wide variety under one roof,” “a high risk of business failure,” and “earn a living.” More precise vocabulary would help you explain the economic and community effects with greater clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a conditional structure in “if shopper prefers to visit big store rather than local then there are high change…” and a concession in the final paragraph. The main meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. Examples include missing articles and plural forms in “There are number of local…” and “these stores carries,” as well as subject–verb agreement in “stores carries.” The conditional sentence also needs a clearer grammatical structure, and punctuation is inconsistent, particularly around the example beginning “For example.” Work on articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, then proofread each sentence. More accurate control of these patterns would make your varied sentence attempts easier to follow.

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