Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's modern world, small shops are increasingly closed because majority of people prefer visit to a large shopping centres. This essay will discuss both positive and negative impact of this development.

This paragraph will discuss positive development of it. To begin with, large shopping centres provide a wide range of products in one place. So, it is very easy for individuals to buy anything from one place. For example, people can buy clothes, shoes,groceries, and food items in the same sopping centre. Moreover, if people can buy anything in one place rather than visiting diffirent shops. It helps to save their time and efforts. Especially, busy people who could not have much time for shopping and entertainment. For instance, if family buy clothes and watch a movie in a shopping mall on the same day and same place. Therefore, large shopping centres provide wide range of facilities such as, parking space, air conditioning, restaurant, entertainment area in a one place. Also, large shopping centres and malls improve job opportunities. So, it helps to decrease unemployeement ratio.

On the other hand, it gives some negative impact on smaller business because small shops may have fewer products and they could not give any discount offer because they have less money. For example, a small cloth shop sell their thing in higher price while shopping malls sells their thing in lower prices. Also, when small shops may close, their owner and staff member face may lose their jobs.

In conclusion, large shopping centres provide wide range of product as comapre to the small shops. So, this development give both positive and negative impact on society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the development, giving relevant benefits such as convenience, time-saving, facilities and employment, and drawbacks for small businesses and their workers. The examples about buying several types of goods and combining shopping with a film help illustrate the benefits. However, the task asks whether this is positive or negative, and your introduction promises to discuss both impacts without stating which view you support. The conclusion again says there are both effects, so your overall position remains unclear. Some points are also asserted rather than explained: for example, the claim that malls reduce unemployment is not connected to how this offsets the closure of local shops. State a clear overall judgement and develop the most important reasons with more explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a paragraph on drawbacks and a conclusion. The shift signalled by “On the other hand” is clear, and examples generally follow the points they support. However, progression within the first body paragraph is sometimes mechanical: repeated openings such as “Moreover,” “Especially,” “For instance” and “Therefore” do not always show the precise relationship between ideas. The sentence beginning “Moreover, if people can buy anything…” is incomplete, which interrupts the flow. Some references are also unclear, such as “it” in “it gives some negative impact.” Use fewer formulaic linkers, connect each explanation directly to its main point, and make references explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “shopping centres,” “wide range of products,” “job opportunities” and “unemployment ratio.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation and spelling problems make the writing less natural. Examples include “positive development of it,” “sopping centre,” “diffirent,” “unemployeement” and “comapre.” Phrases such as “sell their thing” and “in a one place” are also imprecise or unnatural. These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the general argument, but they are noticeable and sometimes make individual points harder to follow. Build a more accurate set of phrases for comparing businesses, describing consumer convenience and explaining economic effects, and proofread spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, the range is limited, and attempts to combine clauses often produce faulty sentences. For example, “Moreover, if people can buy anything in one place rather than visiting different shops” is a dependent clause without a main clause, while “Especially, busy people who could not have much time…” is a fragment. There are also recurring errors in articles, agreement and verb forms, as in “the majority of people prefer visit,” “a small cloth shop sell,” and “this development give.” These patterns make some sentences difficult to read. Practise complete clause structures and check subject–verb agreement, infinitives after verbs such as “prefer,” and article use when revising.

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