Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, some local businesses have been forced to closed because many customers choose to do their shopping from large malls and shopping centers. Although big shopping centers offer people a wider variety of products, this brings a negative development for small businessmen.

One main reason of chossing malls to shop is a wide variety of products and convenience. When people do their shopping from malls, they are offered lower price products, different variety of clothes, and special deals that attract customers to buy because retailers sell their products in bulk. In addition, the valuable time of every customer is saved because they get everything at on place. As a result, local shop's owners have to lose their customers and income. For example, in developed nations, most of citizens choose to do their shopping from malls so that they can save their time and grab great deals to buy more products.

Moving towards the negative development is that local businessmen have to face a financial loss. If people are not purchasing items from small shops, shopkeepers goods will not be sold. As a result, they will have not profit in their income, even though they may face a challenging time to run their livelihood. This loss can put owners in stress or may lead to some health issues, such as depression. For example, in India, many local shop's owners have to shout their business down since people started to shop from large malls because of their glory.

In conclusion, although, big shopping centres provide people with attracting deals and discount offers, the role of local shops are also important for cultural value and to run people's expenses. Local shops also brings people together and increase their attraction in society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you regard the shift to malls as negative, while acknowledging their wider choice, lower prices and convenience. You address the task with relevant consequences for local shopkeepers, including lost income and possible effects on wellbeing, and the examples from developed countries and India help illustrate your points. However, some ideas are more fully explained than others. The claim that local shops have cultural value and bring people together appears only in the conclusion, without explanation or an example, and the health-impact point is asserted rather than developed. To strengthen the response, explain why local shops matter to communities and connect each example more directly to your argument about the overall effects of this change.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs discuss convenience and financial consequences, and a conclusion returns to the issue. Linking phrases such as “In addition,” “As a result,” and “For example” help readers follow the main relationships between ideas. At times, however, the progression is mechanical or the connection is unclear. “Moving towards the negative development” does not clearly introduce a new reason, and the conclusion shifts to cultural value without preparing this point in the body. Some references, such as “This loss,” could also identify more precisely what loss is meant. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main claim, and develop the conclusion from ideas already explained.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for shopping and its effects, including “wider variety,” “special deals,” “financial loss,” and “livelihood.” These choices make your main points understandable, and you attempt more specific language when discussing local businesses and customer behaviour. However, several word-choice, collocation, word-form and spelling errors reduce naturalness, such as “reason of chossing,” “at on place,” “shout their business down,” and “attracting deals.” Some phrases are also repetitive, particularly references to shopping from malls and local shop owners. Build accuracy by learning common collocations and checking spelling, and vary repeated terms with precise alternatives such as “shopping centres,” “independent retailers,” and “local businesses.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in “Although big shopping centers offer…” and conditional structures such as “If people are not purchasing items…”. Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “have been forced to closed” uses the wrong verb form, “they will have not profit” has an inaccurate construction, and “the role of local shops are” has subject–verb disagreement. There are also problems with articles and sentence punctuation, as in “at on place” and “although, big shopping centres.” Review verb patterns after “forced to,” agreement with singular subjects, and article use. Proofreading each sentence for these patterns would improve control while preserving your range.

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