Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, a large number of small local shops have closed due to customers doing their shopping in large shopping centers or malls. This is a negative trend. Local shops closure will lead to unemployement and difficulty accessing items locally.

Several persons open local shops to create a source of income for themselves and their families. Local shops closure will result in high level of unemployement in our local community. Many local shops decide to close due to unavailability of customers. High economic inflation and not getting constant patronages results in this decision. Once there is unemployement in the local community, it results in increased crime rates . There is also a reduction in the life expectancy of dwellers of that local community. For example, closure of the local vegetable shop, can lead to unemployement among the vegetable traders. This can ultimately result in crime rate surge and hunger.

Furthermore, closure of local shops results in difficulty in accessing petty items in the local community. Most at times, individuals want to purchase items without the need of travelling down to the large shopping malls. Due to unavailability of local shops, shopping becomes a hassle. This results in major inconvenience and increased stress rate. Local shops exist to make accessing items within the community easy and stress free. Local shops also helps save the cost of transportating to large malls. For instance, when an individuals runs out of salt while cooking, they can simply purchase it from a local shop instead of traveling to the shopping center. This helps to save cost and stress.

In conclusion, several small local shops are closing down due to customers travelling to large shopping centers to do their shopping. This is a negative trend. Closure of small local shops will result in unemployement and difficulty accessing items locally.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction to the conclusion: you consider the closure of local shops a negative development. You address the task with two relevant reasons—loss of employment and reduced convenience—and support them with examples such as vegetable traders losing work and needing to travel for salt. This meets the task well, and the examples show some development. However, the claim that unemployment leads to reduced life expectancy is introduced without explanation, while the discussion of crime and hunger is asserted rather than demonstrated. The second reason is clearer, but could be extended by explaining who is most affected, such as older residents or people without transport. More balanced explanation of these consequences would make the argument more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present separate reasons, and the conclusion restates your position. Linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “For example,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main stages. Within paragraphs, however, some connections feel mechanical or unclear. In the first body paragraph, the move from shop closures to unemployment, crime, and life expectancy is rapid, with little explanation linking each consequence. Repeated phrases such as “local shops closure” and “This results” also make the progression less smooth. Use pronouns or varied references where clear, and build each paragraph through a more explicit chain of cause and effect. This would strengthen cohesion while preserving your effective paragraph structure.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main argument, including relevant terms such as “unemployment,” “inconvenience,” and “local community.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “constant patronages” and “life expectancy,” but some choices are inaccurate or unnatural in context. “Patronages” is not the natural word for regular customer support, and “stress rate” does not express the intended idea idiomatically. Spelling errors in “unemployement” and “transportating” are noticeable, as is the repeated use of “closure” and “local shops.” Aim for more precise collocations and check spelling; a broader set of natural phrases for employment, access, and convenience would make the argument clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mixture of simple sentences and some longer structures, including “Once there is unemployment in the local community, it results in increased crime rates” and the example beginning “when an individuals runs out of salt.” The main meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “Local shops closure” needs a possessive or plural construction, “local shops also helps” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “when an individuals runs” has a mismatch between the article and noun and between subject and verb. Articles and punctuation also need attention, as in “closure of the local vegetable shop, can lead.” Practise accurate agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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