Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the contemporary world, shopping from big malls has become incresingly popular trend for individuals. While opinions differ regarding this development, I believe that it represents a positive trend bacause people can get quality items and shopkeepers can earn more money. This essay will explain the reasons supporting this viewpoint in the ensuing paragraphs.

One primary reason I believe this trend to be positive is that consumers can get better quality items from the big shopping centres. This is because reputated brands invest their money on giant shopping malls for the sustainability of their reputation in the market. For instance, famous clothing brands established their stores in the famous large shopping centres. Consequently, people can get their essential items with higher quality at one place. Furthermore, shopkeepers can earn more money as compared to local shops. As a result, the global economy has risen through this development.

Another compelling reason is that customers can get better customer care services. This is due to the fact that large shopping centres can provide that type of service as compared to local one. To illustrate this, foreign television company are providing better customer care services if it is purchased form their own stores.

However, this development is not without its challenges. One issue that cannot be ignored is that is people have to spend more money to buy things. Which may lead to create financial burden. For example, middle class families could not acquire essential assets with an affordable price. So, they have to pay extra money by going outside their budget.

In conclusion, although there are many financial crisis happen due to this development, I believe that itis worth to purchase things from large centres. Not only better quality products, but also satisfied customer care services.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you consider the move towards large shopping centres positive, mainly because of product quality and customer service. These are relevant reasons, and you include examples such as branded clothing stores and a television company’s service. You also acknowledge a drawback—higher costs for middle-class families—so the response addresses both sides of the question. However, the support is uneven: the claim that shopkeepers earn more and that this raises the global economy is asserted rather than explained, and the customer-service example is brief and unclear. Develop each main point with a more specific explanation or example, and make the conclusion weigh the drawback against your reasons for supporting the trend.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two paragraphs supporting your view, a paragraph on a drawback, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “One primary reason,” “Furthermore,” and “However” help readers follow the argument. At times, though, the links feel mechanical, and some connections between claims are not fully clear. For example, the move from better-quality goods to shopkeepers earning more, then to the global economy, introduces several ideas without showing how they relate. The sentence beginning “Which may lead…” is also detached from the preceding sentence. Build clearer links within paragraphs, use pronouns with unmistakable references, and ensure each paragraph develops one central point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “shopping centres,” “reputation,” “financial burden,” and “customer care services,” and your meaning is generally understandable. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “Another compelling reason.” However, several spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, including “incresingly,” “reputated,” and “form” for “from.” Some expressions are awkward or repetitive, such as “famous clothing brands established their stores in the famous large shopping centres” and “essential assets” for everyday goods. Choose more natural collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish the benefits of malls from those of local shops and make your examples sound convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a concession in “While opinions differ…” and a reason clause beginning “This is because…”. Most of the argument remains understandable, but some grammatical errors affect sentence control. For example, “One issue that cannot be ignored is that is people…” contains an extra “is,” while “Which may lead to create financial burden” is a fragment with an incorrect verb pattern. There are also agreement and article problems in “foreign television company are providing” and “with an affordable price.” Practise forming complete sentences and checking subject–verb agreement, articles, and verb patterns. Greater accuracy in these areas would make your varied sentence attempts more effective.

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