Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, a lot of local shops have been out ot business because customers go to large shopping centres and malls to do their purchase. In this essay will discuss if this is a positive or negative development.

Many local small businesses have wind up in recent times due to the fact that customers travel to large shoping centres or malls to do their shopping. This, as it sound some positive and negative develoment. The large shopping centres and malls bring development to the community, create employment opportunities and also sell items that the small vendors cannot afford to sell such television, fridges, wears, larger quatities of items. The small local business on the other hand have their advantages.

The small local shops provided means of livlihood to their owners and make items readily accessible to the people living very close to them. For example, if one wants to buy little quantities of items like a packet of cigarette, one does not need to go to the large shopping centre or mall. This coud easily be bought from the local shop.

The shopping centres or mall is quite some distances from where residential house are located. This means the people have to spend a lot of money on transportation to go and make purchases. Also the time and inconvenience of travelling to the shopping centres and malls . A lot of time is spent travelling to and from the large shopping malls. These time could be invested to doing other things which would be more profitable . For example, there was a day my firend had a birthday party to attend and she needed to cook rice for the family first. She had to travel to the shopping centre to buy the rice and necessary condiments for the food. As a matter of fact, she was not able to attend the birthday party because she could not meet up with the time. This could have been quite different if, the local shops were still operational.

In conclusion, the large shopping centres have brought a lot of development to the community but it could run simulteneously with the local shops. In this way, the local shop owners will maintain their means of lvelihood and people wiil be able to have easy access to small items.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address the question by discussing both the benefits of malls and the disadvantages of losing local shops, and your conclusion makes your view clear: the two types of business should operate alongside each other. The examples about buying a small packet of cigarettes locally and your friend’s unsuccessful trip to buy rice help make the effects concrete. However, the position is not fully clear in the introduction, which says only that the essay will discuss whether the change is positive or negative. Some points are also less developed than others: for instance, the claim that malls bring community development and employment is listed but not explained or illustrated. State your judgement early and extend the main reasons with clearer explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure, moving from an introduction to discussion of malls, local shops, travel costs and time, and then a conclusion. Paragraphing generally helps the reader follow these points, and examples are placed near the ideas they support. Cohesion is sometimes mechanical or unclear, however. The opening of the second paragraph, “This, as it sound some positive and negative development,” does not form a clear link or complete thought, while “The small local business on the other hand” would benefit from a more explicit contrast marker and clearer punctuation. The travel paragraph also repeats the idea of time spent travelling. Use linking phrases selectively and make each paragraph’s central point explicit before adding examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “employment opportunities,” “means of livelihood,” “transportation,” and “readily accessible.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make the writing less precise. Examples include “do their purchase,” “small vendors,” “larger quatities,” and “operational” for shops that have closed. Spelling slips such as “shoping,” “develoment,” and “simulteneously” are also noticeable. Aim for more natural phrases and check spelling carefully; for example, describe customers as “shopping” or “making purchases,” and say that local shops “remain open” or “continue operating.” This would make your meaning smoother and more exact.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional structure in “if one wants to buy little quantities of items” and a longer example about your friend’s shopping trip. The main message is usually understandable, but some errors in sentence formation, agreement, verb forms, and punctuation remain. For example, “In this essay will discuss” lacks a subject, and “the large shopping centres and malls bring development … create employment” shifts between verb forms. In “The shopping centres or mall is,” the subject and verb do not agree, and the sentence beginning “This, as it sound” is structurally incomplete. Review complete sentence patterns, subject–verb agreement, and consistent verb forms, then proofread punctuation around introductory and linking phrases.

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