Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, it has become popular shopping from shopping centres or malls instead of small local shops. As per the research on human psychology, it has been stated that people evolve and majority of the population tries to cope up with the changing environment, beliefs, peer pressure and needs.

The observations evidently signifies that customers are leading to shop from malls, due to variety, multiple options from competitors which leads to competetive pricing. Customers have the tendency back in mind to analyse and compare the pricing with respect to the quality. Moreover, Shopping from big commercial stores and malls provide them a boost in self esteem and a sense of improvemnt in life style.

Nowaday, Customers only visits the small local shop, when they are in rush and are ready to purchanse anything which justifies the need at that moment. for example I used to visit the local store in my neighbourhood for grocery only when i need something urgently, i.e Milk, eggs & bread. You'll always find the prices premium compared to the commercial stores due to fewer competetive products.

The local small shops in the neighbourhood is getting worsely impacted because of the change, However, we are aware that even after promoting the small business to meet their basic needs won't get them the business which has already shifted to the malls and bis commercial markets. We have to admit that the local shops have adversely failed to comply with the development. They can be seen using the same premitive products, with the old "only cash" payment models and less interactive and engaging products to attract the customers.

In my opinion, I would personally assume this as a positive development, keeping in mind the small shops are going out of business, the big commercial markets and malls generating huge employment and development in the neighbourhood. the employement caused due to malls and shopping centres compared to local shops are highly noticeable. The money circulation in the country leads to development, and moreover due to the development of malls and shopping centres in the area attracts more people from other communities which creates valuable and potential business opportunities in the area.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you regard the shift to malls as positive, despite acknowledging that local shops are harmed. You address both the reasons customers prefer malls—choice, price comparison and the shopping experience—and the wider effects, including employment and business opportunities. The personal example of buying milk, eggs and bread locally also makes the discussion relevant. This meets the task well, and the argument shows some development beyond a simple opinion. However, the claim that malls create more employment and benefit the area is asserted rather than supported with a specific explanation or example. The discussion of local shops’ difficulties is more developed than the benefits of the change; extending that positive case would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable progression: it introduces changing shopping habits, explains customers’ preferences, gives a personal example, considers the impact on local shops, and then states a positive judgement. Paragraphing helps distinguish these stages, and connectors such as “Moreover,” “However” and “In my opinion” guide the reader. At times, though, links are mechanical or the relationship between ideas is unclear. For example, “However, we are aware that even after promoting the small business…” does not clearly connect the proposed promotion with the claim that business has shifted to malls. The final paragraph also combines employment, money circulation and visitors without clearly showing how each supports the conclusion. Use more precise references and develop one main point at a time.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “competitive pricing,” “self esteem,” “employment,” “money circulation” and “business opportunities,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. There are also attempts at less common expressions, but inaccurate word choice, collocation and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning less clear. Examples include “cope up with,” “worsely impacted,” “premitive products” and “the employement caused due to malls.” Some phrases are also awkward or imprecise, such as “a sense of improvemnt in life style” and “less interactive and engaging products.” Aim for natural combinations and check spelling carefully. More precise terms for the effects on local businesses and the advantages of malls would help you express your argument with greater control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “because,” “when” and “which,” and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, control is inconsistent, particularly with subject–verb agreement, articles, sentence boundaries and punctuation. For example, “The observations evidently signifies” should have a plural verb, while “Customers only visits” has a plural subject with a singular verb. The sentence beginning “The local small shops…” shifts into a long construction with an unclear connection after “However,” and the final paragraph contains several ideas joined by commas and full stops inappropriately. Review agreement and practise dividing long sentences into complete, clearly linked clauses. This would make your complex structures easier to understand.

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