Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In todays modern era the trend of buy stuff in malls and shopping centers is incresing day by day. Therefore local shops are getting impected by this. I think its a negative development and in upcomimg paragraph i will discuss it.

First off all the trend off shopping in big malls is increasing because of social media. As we know social media had great impect on peoples think and way of living. Individual shops in a mall just to post pictures on social media plat forms like instagram, tiktok and so on. They think that if they shop branded stuff from the mall they will be get more populer and buy shopping there they wanna make every feel that how rich they are. Seconday malls are more convinent as in mall every product is avialable easily and people prefers that because they are busy in there work and getting every thing under one rouff is really helpfull for them.

I think shopping in a mall and large centers is making a negative impact on our lifes. people shop there just to show off how lavish theere life style is which i think is not good for society as there are all kind of person in our world as some are financially good some are not. Person who cannot afford to shop in mall some time choice wrong way which lied to increse in crime rate. For example recently i say a news that in bathinda city of punjab india two people attacked at car they broke the window of the car and stole the wallet inside it in cctv video these people are campured in a shopping center buy someting buy using this card. Moreover these branded stuff is making a great impact on local shops as local shop owners lifes are depended on there shops when people only shop at malls the local shops are facing loss in there buiseness. which lead them to close there shops.

In conclusion, i would say that this whole new thend of shopping in a mall is making negative impact on our lifes as the whole concept off malls is selling same stuff which is availabe in local shops as well but under a big brands name. which is a tottel waist of money and spoiling they way we live.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the opening and conclusion: you consider the growth of malls a negative development. You address relevant consequences, including pressure on local shop owners and the social effects of status-driven consumption, and the Bathinda example gives the discussion a concrete detail. However, some reasoning is less fully developed or not clearly connected to the question. In particular, the claim that people who cannot afford mall shopping may turn to crime is a broad causal link, and the reported theft does not establish that connection. The point about social media and shopping to appear wealthy also needs clearer explanation. Develop these ideas with more direct evidence and explain how each supports your overall judgement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, with a consistent negative position. Sequencing phrases such as “First off all,” “Moreover” and “In conclusion” help signal stages of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several claims are joined together without clear links. The first body paragraph moves from social media to branded goods and then convenience, while the second shifts from showing off to crime and local businesses. Some references, such as “these people” and “this,” are not immediately clear. Group related points, use more precise referencing, and make the relationship between each example and the main argument explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “branded stuff,” “crime rate,” “local shop owners” and “financially good,” and you communicate the general argument. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or informal, which sometimes makes the meaning harder to follow. For example, “Individual shops in a mall” appears to mean individual shoppers, and “under a big brands name” is an awkward way to describe branded products. Spelling errors such as “impect,” “convinent” and “buiseness” are also noticeable. Build a more accurate set of topic phrases and check spelling and word forms; this will make your ideas clearer and more appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and some longer sentences, and the reader can generally identify your main position. However, control of sentence structure and basic grammar is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. For instance, “people prefers that” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “they will be get more populer” has an incorrect verb construction. There are also problems with articles, plurals and sentence boundaries, as in “these branded stuff is making a great impact” and the run-on sentence beginning “Moreover these branded stuff.” Practise forming accurate complex sentences, checking agreement and verb patterns, and separating complete ideas with appropriate punctuation.

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