Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Due to increased traffic in Large shopping centers, small local shops are being shutdown in the past few years. Although this development has certain drawbacks, I believe the positives are far greater than the negatives.

To begin with, large shopping centers reduce the need for multiple small local shops in the community because they provide customers with a variety of options to choose from when shopping. This creates an opportunity for the community to build more infrastructure such as schools or public parks for children.

Futhermore, large shopping centers promote technological advancement within communities. They create an environment where shoppers can access different technological tools to ease shopping. For example, when a large shopping center opens in a community, shoppers will have access to cardless checkout, online shopping and delivery services. These services provides a convenient shopping experience for customers whereas, in small local shops customers will have to commute to while facing the risk of losing theiur debit or credit cards.

While large shopping centers have many positives, they also put small businesses at risk of closing thereby leaving families without a source of income. This can have a negative ripple effect on the means of survival on families living in a community. For example, when a family running a small local shop closes due to a large shopping center, they may struggle to pay bills and feed.

In conclusion, small local shops closing down due to large shopping centers is a positive development because they reduce the need for many smaller shops due to variety of products and they promote technological advancement which makes shopping easy for customers but they also leave families without a source of income when small local shops close.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider the closures positive overall, while acknowledging harm to shop-owning families. You address both sides and give relevant reasons, including the range of products, possible community infrastructure, shopping technology, and lost income. The examples help make the discussion concrete. However, some claims are not fully explained: the link between fewer shops and building schools or parks is asserted rather than shown, and the benefits of cardless checkout and delivery are described more than evaluated. The conclusion repeats the main points but does not add a final judgement about why the benefits outweigh the impact on families. Develop the causal links and weigh the competing effects more explicitly to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and drawbacks, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “Furthermore,” and “While” make the direction of the argument easy to follow, and the position remains consistent. This gives the essay a coherent foundation. At times, however, connections between ideas are asserted rather than made explicit—for example, how the closure of shops would create an opportunity for schools or parks. Some linking is also mechanical, with the conclusion largely repeating the introduction and body points. Use referencing and transitions more flexibly, and make the relationship between each reason and the overall judgement clearer. This would strengthen progression without changing the effective paragraph structure.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic-related vocabulary, including “shopping centers,” “technological advancement,” “convenient shopping experience,” and “source of income.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and phrases such as “negative ripple effect” show an attempt to use more expressive language. Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or imprecise, however: “increased traffic in” does not clearly express the growth of shopping centres, and “risk of losing their debit or credit cards” is an awkwardly framed comparison with local shops. There are also spelling errors, including “Futhermore” and “theiur,” and inconsistent capitalisation of “Large.” Aim for more precise collocations and proofread spelling and capitalisation; this will make the vocabulary more controlled and natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex forms, including the concessive opening “Although this development has certain drawbacks” and the contrast introduced by “While large shopping centers have many positives.” Most sentences remain understandable, and the errors do not generally prevent the reader from following your argument. Some grammatical problems persist, particularly with verb forms and agreement: “are being shutdown in the past few years” combines an unsuitable tense with a passive construction, while “These services provides” has a subject–verb agreement error. The final sentence is long and difficult to control, and the comma before “but” would help separate its contrasting clauses. Review tense choice, agreement, and punctuation, and divide lengthy sentences where needed to improve accuracy.

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