Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

nowadays,numerous small local businesses have been forced to shut down as consumer increasingly prefer to shop at large shopping center and malls yes i things it has both negative or positive effect or development.

many people are suffering from unemployment due to shutting down of thier local businesses. numerous individual has suffering from many kinds of mental and physical issues due to causes of collapse their local shop many of them are under mental pressure under in poverty line. nevertheless it has no equality in the nation there has many problem in the local business many poor or middle class people are survive from thier small local businesses but due to effect of big malls and shopping centers it has also high in price because of their luxury services however it has also positive effects when people will get all goods and services in single place it help people to save time and energy. shopping center has also paid tax in high rate it directly help the country in economy.

for instance many rich or high profile person has growing due to investment of thier shopping centers on the other hand poor will be poor there is no equality in the businesses

conclusion:it has bad or good effects on the development of country it increase country economic other side it also help in employment .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address the question by presenting both disadvantages and advantages, including unemployment and inequality on one side, and convenience, time-saving and tax revenue on the other. However, the task asks whether this is positive or negative, and your position remains unclear: “it has both negative or positive effect” and the conclusion says it has “bad or good effects.” This limits the response because the reader cannot tell which view you support. Several points are asserted rather than explained, and the example about wealthy people investing in shopping centres is not developed enough to show its relevance. The response is also 25 words below the required minimum. State a clear overall judgement, then explain and illustrate your strongest reasons in more detail.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: you introduce the issue, discuss disadvantages and advantages, give an example, and provide a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “nevertheless,” “however,” and “for instance” show awareness of how ideas can be connected. However, most of the discussion is compressed into one long paragraph, so the shift between unemployment, poverty, convenience and tax revenue is difficult to follow. Some links do not clearly express the relationship between ideas, and the conclusion repeats the uncertainty of the introduction rather than bringing the argument together. Use separate paragraphs for your position, each main side of the argument, and the conclusion; connect each point with a clear explanation.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “unemployment,” “poverty,” “investment,” “tax,” and “shopping centres,” which helps communicate the subject. There are also attempts at more formal expressions such as “economic” and “equality.” However, the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or repetitive, sometimes making the intended meaning difficult to understand. For example, “under in poverty line” and “there is no equality in the businesses” are not natural ways to express these ideas, while “high in price” is imprecise. Work on accurate collocations and use more specific terms for the effects on local communities and consumers. Check spelling and word forms, including “their,” “individuals,” and “economic growth.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to combine ideas using clauses and connectors, but sentence structures are mostly simple or run together, and errors frequently make the relationships between ideas unclear. For example, “many people are suffering from unemployment due to shutting down” lacks a clear grammatical construction, while “numerous individual has suffering” has problems with number and verb form. The opening sentence also runs several clauses together without appropriate sentence boundaries. There is little evidence of controlled complex sentence patterns, and agreement, articles, tense and punctuation need consistent attention. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then add subordinate clauses accurately—for example, explain that people may lose jobs when local shops close.

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