Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the contemporary world, it is noticable that from few decades, a plethora local owned stores have shut down permanently because shopper prefer to shop from big brand stores in mall. The shift has been increased dramtically. In my opinion, shutting down local operated business is a negetive developement as it make local operator go bank corrupt. However, It could lead to several positive developement too.

One the first hand, closing local operated business can lead to economic crisis. Local operated business helps and contribute much in that perticular city. Also, it helps individuals to shop nearby and more convinently as they do not have to travel a long distance to purchase the items. For instance, a study was conducted by Waterloo college which showcased that local small shops helps city to cerculate money into the city. Moreover, small shopes provides fresh and best item available as their main agenda is to feed people the best qulality.

On the other hand, big shopping stores in mall and centres help city to delevope faster as people spend more in the economy. Government get more taxes from these stores which eventually help in city developement. For example, a shopping mall in city of Japan contributed approximately 5 million dollers last year according to GP magazine. Futhermore, large shopping centre offer a huge variety of items which is not common at any local small shop.

To conclude; Although, local operated shops closure will lead to economic consequence and less quality productes but big stores helped city to grow faster and effeciently. Not only it creates jobs but also it helps individual to shop different variety of items.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and state a clear overall view: closing local businesses is negative, although large centres may bring benefits. Relevant points include convenience, money circulating locally, tax revenue, jobs and wider choice. However, the position becomes less consistent in the conclusion, which gives substantial weight to the benefits without clearly reaffirming which development you judge more positive overall. Several claims also need fuller explanation: for example, the Waterloo study is mentioned but its findings are not explained, and the mall’s tax contribution is asserted rather than linked clearly to the effects on residents. Develop fewer points with specific reasoning and make your final judgement unmistakable.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for opposing arguments and a conclusion. The signposts “On the first hand,” “On the other hand” and “To conclude” help readers follow the broad progression, and the ideas within each body paragraph generally relate to its main point. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some of the flexibility associated with stronger cohesion. However, the linking phrases are somewhat formulaic, and the conclusion’s shift towards the benefits weakens the progression of your stated negative position. Some references, such as “it” in the final paragraph, are not fully clear. Use more precise links between claims and examples, and ensure each paragraph advances the same overall argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “economic crisis,” “contribute,” “variety” and “develop faster.” The reader can generally understand your main points, but the range is limited and several noticeable spelling, word-form and collocation errors make the writing less clear or natural. Examples include “noticable,” “bank corrupt,” “cerculate money” and “best item available”; these choices sometimes obscure the intended meaning. Some phrases are also repeated, particularly “local operated business” and “small shops.” Build accuracy with common topic collocations before reaching for more elaborate wording, and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise terms for local economic effects and consumer choice would make your argument clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer structures, including the contrast introduced by “Although” and the clause beginning “because shopper prefer.” This gives some variety, but the range remains limited, and complex sentences are often faulty. For example, “a plethora local owned stores have shut down” is missing grammatical elements, while “shutting down local operated business is a negetive developement as it make” has problems with number agreement and verb form. There are also errors in articles, plurals and sentence punctuation, such as “Government get more taxes” and the semicolon after “To conclude.” These errors recur and can make the reader pause. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and article use, then build longer sentences from those reliable patterns.

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