Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, popularity of big malls and shopping centres has increased and this can lead to the closure of small local shops for shopping. Although, shopping malls offers conveience and wider range of products, I believe that this is negative development for the small businesses.

The main reason why travel to large shopping centres is a negative trend is that it effects the small business. Big shopping has attractive appearence, it provides everthing under the one roof such is cinema, brands and restruants. So, customers prefer to go into these kind of malls because it is conveinent fro them to find things easily and variety of products are avilable as well. consequently, this can lead to closure of small local shops. In this way it significantly decline the sales and it create an unemployment and financial difficulties for them who just rely on these local shops.

Another reason is that it impacts on local communites. Local shops gives personal advised and experiences regarding the products. In contarst bigger shops just have transactions personalised and they understand the cutomer's needs. Not only this, if these shops are closed individuals ave to treavel for long distance for shopping also. In this way it increased the cost od transportation and for the grey people it is very diffucult to travel for far distance. Hence, it affect the local communties becuse cost of living increase.

In conclusion, while big malls has lots of advantages, Its negative consequence can not be denied such is it effects the local culture and communities, and it threaten the employment, weaken the realtionship between them.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.5
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you consider the growth of malls a negative development, and both body paragraphs give relevant reasons—harm to small businesses and effects on local communities. You also explain consequences, including reduced sales, unemployment, longer journeys and higher transport costs, so the response addresses the question rather than merely describing shopping habits. The discussion is not equally developed throughout, however. The point about personal advice from local shopkeepers is difficult to follow, and the claim that malls weaken relationships or affect local culture is asserted more than explained. To strengthen the response, clarify how these effects occur and add a specific example to support one of your main points; this would make the argument more fully extended.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present separate reasons, and a conclusion restates the negative judgement. Linking expressions such as “Another reason,” “In this way” and “Hence” help show the intended progression. Some connections are nevertheless mechanical or unclear. For example, “In contarst bigger shops just have transactions personalised” does not clearly contrast with the preceding point, and “Not only this” introduces a consequence without a precise link to the discussion. The final sentence also combines several effects without showing how they relate. Use clearer referencing and vary the way you connect cause and consequence, while ensuring each paragraph develops one central idea in a logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “financial difficulties,” “local communities,” “transportation” and “cost of living.” These choices show some range, but control is limited by frequent spelling errors and inaccurate or unnatural word combinations. Examples include “conveience,” “appearence,” “everthing,” “personal advised,” and “cost od transportation.” Phrases such as “Big shopping” and “the grey people” are also unclear or unsuitable for the intended meaning. These errors sometimes make the reader pause to interpret your point. Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common collocations as complete phrases—for example, “shopping malls,” “personalised service,” and “older people”—rather than relying on approximate forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at more complex structures, including “Although …, I believe …” and “because customers …,” which gives the response some structural variety. However, complex sentences are often not controlled accurately, and errors occur across the response. For example, “shopping malls offers” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “this is negative development” is missing an article. In “it significantly decline the sales and it create,” the verb forms do not agree with the subject; “Local shops gives” has the same issue. The sentence beginning “Not only this” is also structurally incomplete or unclear. Review agreement, articles and sentence construction, then proofread each sentence to ensure its clauses are complete and correctly connected.

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