Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, most people are willing to do shopping from malls and this results in closing down of small local shops. I largely believe that it is a negative development as it raises unemployment and leads to recession.

To begin with, sole traders loose their business. When people choose to shop from large shops than, small owners have to suffer loss. This forces them to shut down their business and find anthore work. Not only owners, but also employees who are working in local shops have to move out to fing new job. This situation makes an individual depressed. For example, supermarket would attract their customers with privileges like air conditioning area and dicounted rates. Shopkeeper running his business near to that supermarket

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You clearly take a position, stating that the trend is negative, and you give relevant reasons: local business owners may lose their livelihoods, employees may need to find new work, and this can affect individuals emotionally. However, the response addresses the question only minimally. The claim that the trend “leads to recession” is not explained, and the supermarket example is left unfinished, so it does not show how the point works in practice. The response also contains 122 words, below the required 250, which leaves the argument substantially incomplete. To develop your answer, explain the wider effects on communities and support each reason with a complete, specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic structure: an introduction gives your view, followed by a paragraph beginning “To begin with” that develops the effect on shop owners and employees. Linking phrases such as “Not only…but also” help connect related points. However, there is no concluding paragraph, and the ideas do not progress to a complete overall argument. The example beginning “For example” is unfinished, which interrupts the flow, while “When people choose to shop from large shops than” is difficult to follow. Use separate paragraphs for each main reason, complete the examples, and add a conclusion that restates your position. Clearer links between the local effects and your claim about recession would also improve progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “sole traders,” “unemployment,” “recession,” and “discounted rates,” showing an attempt to discuss economic and retail effects. However, the range is limited, and several word choices or spelling errors make parts of the response less clear. For example, “loose their business” appears to mean “lose their business,” and “anthore” and “fing” are misspelled. “Privileges” is not a natural choice for the benefits offered by a supermarket, and “move out” is imprecise for employees who need new work. Build a wider set of accurate phrases for business closures, job losses, and consumer advantages, and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms. For instance, “This forces them to shut down their business and find…” uses a clear cause-and-effect structure, while “Not only owners, but also employees…” attempts a more complex construction. However, control is uneven: “When people choose to shop from large shops than” is incomplete and has faulty comparison structure, and “Shopkeeper running his business near to that supermarket” is a sentence fragment. There are also errors in articles and sentence construction, such as “supermarket would attract their customers.” Aim to write complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check comparisons and article use. The meaning is often recoverable, but these errors limit accuracy.

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