Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In the last few decades, majority of the individuals prefer to visit large shopping centres for buying the stuffs rather than stepping in the local shops. If asked, I consider it as a positive developement. My inclination is justified in the forthcoming paragraphs with the relevant examples.

To begin with, malls provide large variety of products to buyers at same place. By this I mean that if a person visits the malls than he will not only get all the products at the same place but also he will get a chance to compare the price of the same product in different shops and as a result he will save money, For example, according to a research published by TOI- Times of India states that 87% of canadian shoppers prefer to visit malls as it helps them to save more than 168$ on their monthly groceries.

Moreover, customers can spend quality time with their family by visiting a mall. This is because if an individual shops from a mall, he will get a chance to explore the different shops at the mall with his family as well as he can perform different activities like eating food and watching a movie at same place. To cite an example, according to an article published by the Hindustan Times, 88% of Indian buyers prefer shopping, watching a movie and having a dinner at JIo Conventional Centres on sunday.

All in all, it can be finally commented that my reasons that by visiting a mall, people can find a variety of products at same place and can save money as well as can spend quality time with their family are plausible.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you regard the shift to malls as positive, and the conclusion restates the two main reasons. Both body paragraphs are relevant and supported with examples: you explain the convenience of comparing products and the opportunity to combine shopping with family activities. This addresses the task and gives the reader a clear rationale. However, the discussion is somewhat one-sided in its development: the effects of local shops closing are not considered, and the benefits are presented mainly from the customer’s perspective. The examples support your points, but the claims about shoppers and savings would be more convincing if you explained how they demonstrate a broader benefit. Develop the consequences of the trend more fully to strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall structure, moving from an introduction to two distinct supporting paragraphs and a conclusion. The progression from product choice and savings to family leisure is logical, and signposting such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “All in all” helps readers follow the argument. Within paragraphs, you generally explain each main point before giving an example. At times, however, the linking feels formulaic, particularly “By this I mean” and “To cite an example,” and some sentences carry several related ideas at once. The conclusion also repeats the body points rather than drawing them together in a broader final judgement. Use a wider range of natural transitions and make the links between explanation and evidence more concise.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss shopping and leisure, including “compare the price,” “monthly groceries,” and “quality time.” There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “My inclination is justified” and “plausible,” although these sound less natural in context. Some word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors reduce precision: “buying the stuffs,” “large variety,” and “JIo Conventional Centres” are problematic, while “developement” is misspelled. Repetition of “same place” and “mall” also limits flexibility. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding your position, but more accurate collocations and a broader set of terms for local businesses and shopping facilities would make the argument more fluent and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if a person visits the malls” and clauses explaining reasons with “because” and “as a result.” The main ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors occur in articles, agreement, sentence boundaries, and punctuation. For example, “at same place” needs an article, and “according to a research … states” combines an introductory phrase with an incompatible verb structure. The long sentence beginning “By this I mean” also contains a comma splice and an incorrectly capitalised “For.” Aim to control sentence boundaries and check articles and subject–verb relationships. Breaking some longer sentences into two would help you retain complexity while improving accuracy.

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