Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, customers like to go large shopping malls for their shopping instead small local shops and those shops are getting close. I will explain the positive and negative impacts of this statement in upcoming paragraphs.

To begin with, most of individuals love to do shopping in malls because it is convenient for them to purchase everything in one place whatever they want and it helps them to save their time and energy. For example, According to the survey, the quantitative data showed that 70% people preferred to do shopping in large malls instead of small shops which puts the bad impact on domestic business. As a result, large malls are getting more popular than local shops because of its location and varieties.

However, local business owners and their employees may lose their jobs due to the low preference of their small shops in the society and have closed. Moreover, employees will struggle to find any alternative option to earn money and their families may be also suffer from financial shortage, For instance, there are many people who lost their jobs and do not have enough to fulfill their family's needs because of less priority of their business in the area. Therefore, the dramatically changes are putting negative impacts on people who are surviving by that specific business.

In conclusion, according to my perspective, it is positive development than negative because it gives the opportunities to people to get the jobs for different roles in the under one roof and they can save their time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the issue and make your own view clear in the conclusion: you consider the development positive because malls offer jobs and save shoppers’ time. The points about convenience and the effects on local businesses are relevant. However, the discussion is uneven: the negative paragraph explains possible job losses, while the positive case is mostly about convenience and does not clearly show how mall employment outweighs the harm to local shops. The survey example is presented as evidence but is not connected to a specific explanation of its impact. Develop each main reason with a clear explanation and a concrete, relevant example, and make your position consistent throughout rather than introducing both impacts without indicating which you support until the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “To begin with” and “However,” and a concluding paragraph. This makes the overall direction easy to follow. Some links between ideas are less clear or mechanical, though. For example, the survey sentence moves from shoppers’ preferences to a “bad impact” on domestic business without explaining the connection, and “Therefore” introduces a broad claim rather than a specific result of the preceding example. The conclusion also shifts to a positive judgement after most of the essay has focused on negative effects. Improve progression by stating your position in the introduction, organising each paragraph around one reason, and using linking phrases only where they show a precise relationship.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “shopping malls,” “local business owners,” “employees,” and “financial shortage,” and you attempt more formal expressions such as “quantitative data.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning less natural: “getting close” does not express that shops are shutting, “low preference” is awkward, and “save their time” is not the usual phrasing. “Dramatically changes” also uses the wrong form for the intended meaning. Aim for precise, natural combinations rather than adding formal-sounding terms; for instance, describe shops as “closing down” and customers as “preferring” malls. This will make your ideas clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “because,” “because of,” and “which,” so there is some variety. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in basic sentence patterns and agreement recur. Examples include “customers like to go large shopping malls” (missing a preposition), “70% people preferred” (missing an article or quantifier structure), and “their families may be also suffer” (incorrect verb construction). The sentence beginning “Therefore, the dramatically changes…” also has problems with article, number, and sentence structure. Punctuation and capitalisation are uneven, as in “For example, According to…” and the comma before “For instance.” Practise accurate clause construction and verb forms before extending sentences; clearer, shorter sentences will help your meaning come through.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.