Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Undoubtedly, It is oftenly argued that peolpe are gravitating more towards to big complexes to fulfill thier shopping purpose as it provides all needed things under one roof conversely resultantly leads to shut down the trend of local shops among shoppers.This essay will concisely elucidate that how this phenomenon has a ample optimistic approaches and with suitable examples.

To commence with the substantial benefit of this tendency is that, it is quite feasible and convenient since,all the things and materials like clothing, technological gadgets and grocery avaiable under one roof which not only give them immense options but also, saves thier time and energy Unlikely, in local shops where they have to move one specific shop to another to buy particular products with limited option which results sometimes they have to compromise with their puchase.

Moving further, These massive shopping malls comes with other benefits like games and recreational activity areas, food courts and outlets as well as large parking area So, parents can do their shopping peacefully by aindulging their child in playing games.while shopping if they felt hungry they can go to food shops and can have thier favourite dishes there also,in these malls parking services are constructive that folks do not have to worry about their vehicles because, survillence cameras are taking care of it.

To conclude, by taking all the things under consideration it can be articulated that large shopping centres are providing that considerable amount of provisions to pupils like variety in clothes and footwears, food outlets and play area beneath under single roof.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you regard the growth of large shopping centres as positive, and you give relevant reasons, including convenience, greater choice, entertainment, food outlets and parking. These examples show that you understand the topic. However, the response addresses the question only partially because it focuses almost entirely on benefits and does not explain the consequences of local shops closing. The claim that shoppers may have to “compromise with their purchase” is a useful starting point, but it needs development—for example, how closures affect local employment, community life or people without easy access to malls. To strengthen the response, state your overall judgement clearly and support it with more fully explained examples, while acknowledging the main disadvantage.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The body paragraphs also group related points, with convenience and choice discussed first, followed by leisure facilities and parking. Linking phrases such as “To commence with,” “Moving further” and “To conclude” help signal this organisation. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear, and several ideas run together because sentence boundaries and punctuation are not consistently managed. For instance, the first body paragraph moves from convenience to limited choice without a clear transition, while the conclusion repeats a list rather than drawing the argument together. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to your judgement.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “shopping malls,” “technological gadgets,” “recreational activity areas” and “surveillance cameras.” This gives you material to discuss different aspects of the development. However, noticeable spelling, word-form and collocation errors sometimes make the meaning harder to follow, such as “peolpe,” “avaiable,” “puchase,” “fulfill their shopping purpose” and “a ample optimistic approaches.” Some expressions are also imprecise or unnatural, including “pupils” for shoppers and “beneath under single roof.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than adding formal-sounding phrases. Proofread spelling and choose vocabulary that precisely describes the point—for example, “local businesses” or “a wider range of products.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to combine ideas in longer sentences, using structures such as “which not only… but also…” and “since…,” so there is some variety beyond simple statements. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles and verb forms can make the reader work to understand the message. For example, “all the things and materials… available under one roof” lacks a finite verb, and “These massive shopping malls comes” has a subject–verb agreement error. Several sentences also join independent ideas without appropriate punctuation, particularly in the paragraph about food and parking. Practise building shorter, complete sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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