Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Massive shopping centres and malls have replaced the may local stores over past few years. I belive its a positive development as it helps consumers to save and give convinence to get everying under one roof.

Shopping centers help consumers to save money on all item anyone could buy from a local grocery store as these shopping centres serves a large population and buy thier stock directly from manufactures at wholesale prices to thus able to offer great deals on the allmost every item as compared to the local stores which cannot match that. Moreover, if anyone hosting a party and need everything in bulk quantity, shopping centres are the best place to consider as they have massive deals on purchasing more than 1 in quantity. These places also offer some special deals on credit cards which can save 10 percent additional on the entire purchase hence, making it more cost effective.

Not only these Malls offers a great price but also provide convinence of having everything under the same roof. With this convinence, it attracts a lot of public, specially the service class who barely have time to go to market and look for different items at various local stores. Furthermore, one can find any item from as liitle as a candy to as big as tv at one place displayed in various different asiles whereas, some local stores are not able to provide that in small little place.

To conclude, the large shopping centres are more preferred by general public nowadays due to all the benefits they provide over the small retailers.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider the growth of malls positive because they help people save money and find everything in one place. Both reasons are relevant and are supported with examples, such as wholesale purchasing, bulk deals and the needs of people with limited time. This addresses the task well. However, some support remains general: for example, the claim that malls offer lower prices on almost every item is asserted rather than qualified or illustrated with a specific comparison. The conclusion restates your preference but adds little synthesis. To strengthen the response further, develop the consequences of local shops closing, or explain why the benefits to shoppers outweigh any disadvantages for communities and small retailers.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs develop separate benefits, and a conclusion returns to your position. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “Furthermore” and “To conclude” help signal the progression. The organisation is generally easy to follow, though the body paragraphs rely heavily on additive linking and could show more explicit relationships between claims and examples. Some sentence connections are awkward, particularly the long sentence beginning “Shopping centers help consumers to save money,” where several explanations are joined together. The phrase “Not only these Malls offers…” also does not form a clear transition. Use a wider range of precise links, and divide long explanations into clearer units to make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to shopping and consumer benefits, including “wholesale prices,” “bulk quantity,” “cost effective” and “under the same roof.” These choices help communicate your main ideas, but the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “convenience,” “shopping centres” and “local stores.” There are also noticeable spelling and word-choice errors, including “belive,” “everying,” “thier,” “asiles” and “service class.” Some expressions are unnatural, such as “save money on all item anyone could buy” and “a lot of public.” These do not prevent the reader from understanding the argument, but they reduce precision and fluency. Build a broader set of accurate collocations for prices, access and the effects on local businesses, and proofread spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple statements and longer sentences with subordinate clauses, for example the explanation beginning “as these shopping centres serves a large population.” This shows an effort to express cause and give detail, but control is inconsistent, and complex sentences often contain several grammatical problems. Examples include “these shopping centres serves,” “Not only these Malls offers,” and “if anyone hosting a party and need everything,” which show errors in agreement and clause construction. Articles and sentence boundaries also need attention; the opening sentence, for instance, is missing grammatical elements. These issues sometimes make the reader work to follow the meaning. Practise building accurate subject–verb patterns and complete clauses, then use shorter sentences where a longer structure becomes difficult to control.

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