Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays there are so many shopes in the cities and many more big marts are opening around the city and mates are like to buy the things from large shopping centers in the eassy i will discuss the why its happening and whats are the main factors

Small shopes beside the streets are so helpful for local comunities to buy things from there but as we seen in few years ago most of the small supermarkets have closed because numerous malls are open so folks are preffer to shope from there because they can getting same thing from big mall in small amount of money for example the owner of small shopes are trying to sell their products a little bit high because they have to manage the other expences too. Thats why the customers thinks small shopes are selling their things in high price

sometimes, big marts are making offers on their products and giving discount to customers just to get popularity and attention of public and people belive that buying from hypermarket is good becsuse they can get alarge number of variety on products and this is good development i completely aggreed with this for examples folks are like to buy their needs from malls because they some iteams are broke down on one month from buy they can get a free repalce its only happen in big malls. In addition, individuals also have access to other iteams under the same roof like they can buy garements and grocceries and electronics in best price

in conclusion, its trend many customers are going to mall for shopping instead of small supermarkets becasue they belive that there are range of products whatever they wants they can get from there but in small markets there only few things are there which overpriced

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You answer the question directly by stating that the trend is positive, and you give relevant reasons: lower prices, discounts, greater product choice and the convenience of buying different items in one place. The example about replacing a broken item also supports your view. However, the discussion focuses almost entirely on the benefits of malls; the effects of small shops closing on local communities are only briefly acknowledged and not developed. Some points, such as the claim that malls offer better prices, would be more convincing with a clearer explanation or a specific example. To strengthen the response, explain the consequences of losing local shops and develop the comparison before reaching your conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The ideas generally move from why customers choose malls to the advantages they offer, and linking expressions such as “because,” “In addition” and “in conclusion” help show relationships. However, the introduction promises to discuss why the change is happening rather than clearly setting out your positive position, and the body paragraphs contain several ideas joined together without clear separation. Some connections are difficult to follow, particularly the sentence about items breaking and being replaced. Use clearer topic sentences, divide related points into shorter sentences, and make sure each example directly supports the paragraph’s main idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant shopping vocabulary, including “discount,” “variety,” “products,” “hypermarket” and “under the same roof,” which helps communicate the topic. However, the range is basic and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “small shops,” “big malls” and “things.” Frequent spelling errors, such as “shopes,” “preffer,” “becsuse” and “grocceries,” make the writing less clear and reduce accuracy. There are also awkward word choices and collocations, for example “a little bit high” and “a large number of variety.” Build a more precise range for comparing prices, convenience and local businesses, and check spelling and common word combinations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including explanations with “because” and an addition beginning “In addition.” This shows an effort to connect ideas rather than relying only on short statements. However, control is limited: errors in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement and articles occur throughout and sometimes make relationships unclear. For example, “people are preffer to shope” has an incorrect verb pattern, while “they can getting same thing” uses an incorrect verb form and lacks an article. Several sentences run together, with punctuation that does not clearly mark where one idea ends. Practise accurate basic clauses first, then build longer sentences with one clear main clause and a correctly formed supporting clause.

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