Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Individuals preference of shopping have changed a lot from local shops to big shopping complex or malls in past few years. This trend is a negative development in terms of a country's ecomomic growth and customers spending habits.

Firstly, a part of country's economic growth is dependent on local businesses. People purchasing from local shops will allow manufacturers to make more products and retailers to sell more. It is a chain of cycle in which consumers play a huge part and all are indirectly related to each other. For instance, a very old local convenience store suffers financial loss if a brand new mall open next to it. Additionally, there are certain products which are only available on local shops. If nobody will buy these product then alternatively the culture and tradition of that area also diminish slowly.

Secondly, large shopping complex have luxury items and their lavish look forces individuals to buy them. Company's intend to maintain their brand value by not selling cheap products to the customers and make trap for them to buy. On the other hand, same product with same quality are available on local shops in cheap prices. In this way people visitng mall spend more beyond their expectation and capability.

To conclude, I believe shopping in luxury malls is a negative development. Local shops are struggling to survive in competetive market which is ultimately creating impact on a country's economic growth. Moreover, people spend more when they shop from malls because of their lavish look.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider the shift to malls negative, and the conclusion restates this view. You give two relevant reasons—harm to local businesses and increased spending prompted by malls—and include an example of a convenience store losing business when a mall opens nearby. This addresses the task, but the support is uneven: the link between local purchasing, manufacturers, and national economic growth is asserted rather than explained, while the point about local products and cultural traditions is introduced but not developed. To strengthen the response, explain these consequences more specifically and use a concrete example to show how they affect a community.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs organised around separate reasons, and a conclusion. Sequencing signals such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “To conclude” make the progression easy to follow. Within paragraphs, however, some connections are abrupt or unclear. For example, the move from local shops’ financial losses to products linked with culture is not fully explained, and “It is a chain of cycle” does not clearly show how the relationships work. The second body paragraph also shifts from malls’ luxury image to company pricing and then to overspending without fully connecting each step. Use clearer cause-and-effect links and develop each paragraph’s central idea before moving to another point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “local businesses,” “financial loss,” “brand value,” and “competitive market,” and your meaning is generally understandable. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or awkward, as in “Individuals preference,” “chain of cycle,” “make trap,” and “creating impact.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “ecomomic,” “competetive,” and “visitng,” which reduce the accuracy of the writing. Some expressions, such as “lavish look,” are repeated rather than varied. Aim to learn common collocations for discussing commerce and consumer behaviour, and check spelling and word forms carefully; this will make your ideas more precise and natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “if a brand new mall open next to it” and a relative clause in “products which are only available on local shops.” The overall meaning remains understandable, but some errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and verb forms make sentences less controlled. For example, “a brand new mall open” needs a correctly inflected verb, and “large shopping complex have” has a subject–verb agreement problem. “If nobody will buy these product” also has an unsuitable verb form in the conditional and a plural error. Practise checking each sentence’s subject and verb, and review articles and plural nouns. More accurate complex sentences would improve clarity.

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