Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It has been observed that nowadays, shoppers are visiting to large shopping centres or malls for their shopping needs which consequently has resulted in the shut down of many small local businesses. In my perspective it is a negaive development and this essay will explore the reasons behind it.

One of the most compelling reason is that it is affecting the middleclass population in financial aspects. The small shops are the only source of income in many families and due to the recent trend of malls, the average revenue and profit percent of these shops have declined rapidly. These business owners does not have the affordability to rent a shop in the malls and also the products they sell to earn bread are not capable to be sold in malls. For example, most of the local shops are either a small grocery store or a small sweet and bakery shop and it does not has the potential to generate profit if opened in malls.

Secondly, It has detrimental effect on a country's economy, directly or indirectly. People who have shut their business are surving on their savings and while doing so they have minimized any leisure spending or regular spending as well. This is impacting other businesses as well which ultimately will be effecting the country's GDP. In coming years, businesses that are competing with the malls can also face such problems if they wouldn't be supported.

In conclusion, the shifting trend of shoping at malls resulting in the closing of small local businesses is a negative development as it is making the middleclass poulation financially weak, due to which they are changing their spending habits putting an impact on other businesses as well and all this is effecting the country's economy, gradually.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you regard the closure of local shops as negative, and the conclusion restates this view. You give two relevant reasons—financial harm to shop-owning families and wider effects on the economy—and include a concrete example of grocery, sweet and bakery shops. This addresses the task and provides a sound basis for your argument. However, the first reason is more fully explained than the second: the link between reduced leisure spending and a lower national GDP is asserted rather than illustrated or explained in detail. To strengthen the response, develop that economic chain with a specific example and explain more clearly why malls’ growth harms local communities beyond shop owners’ income.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signposted by “One of the most compelling reason” and “Secondly,” and a conclusion. The ideas generally progress from effects on shop owners to consequences for the wider economy, so the reader can follow your position. Some linking is mechanical, however, and the second body paragraph relies heavily on repeated references to “businesses” and “impacting.” The long final sentence also packs several consequences together, making the relationships less clear. Use more precise referencing and vary the way you connect cause and effect; for example, separate the conclusion’s claims into shorter, clearly linked points. This would make the progression smoother and cohesion less formulaic.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic-related vocabulary, including “revenue,” “affordability,” “detrimental effect,” “leisure spending,” and “GDP.” These choices help communicate the economic focus, and some less common expressions show an effort to be precise. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “profit percent,” “earn bread,” and “surving on their savings.” There are also spelling errors, including “negaive,” “shoping,” and “poulation,” which reduce the overall control of vocabulary. Aim for natural combinations such as “profit margins,” “earn a living,” and “rely on their savings,” and proofread spelling carefully. More precise wording would make the argument sound clearer and more formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including cause-and-effect clauses with “which” and conditional structures such as “if they wouldn’t be supported.” Meaning is generally understandable, but some errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction remain. For example, “These business owners does not” should use a plural verb, while “it does not has” needs the base form “have.” The opening phrase “are visiting to large shopping centres” also has an incorrect grammatical pattern. The final sentence is long and difficult to control, with several clauses joined together. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and verb forms, and divide long sentences where necessary. More consistently accurate complex sentences would improve clarity.

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